Daniel stopped the shopping cart at the fresh produce stall and hefted a large juicy melon, squeezing it gently to check its ripeness. He spotted Jack as he appeared at the top of the next isle, carrying a crate of beer.

"Jack should I get some fruit?" he shouted. Jack backtracked and headed down between the rows of fruit shaking his head.

"Nah – the last lot went mouldy. Remember when we were ‘away' a little longer than expected?"

Daniel sighed and replaced the melon beside its friends. It was true that they often came back home to a fridge, or bread bin full of potential medical breakthroughs. He pushed the cart into the next isle. "Okay how about coffee?"

Jack had placed his case of beer into the cart and was examining a box of herbal teabags with distaste. He carefully put it back on the shelf and headed quickly towards the dairy products.

"Yeah we're out of coffee. And grab some of that Earl Grey stuff that you like too." He tossed over his shoulder. Daniel saw what he was heading for and quickly grabbing his favourite brand of coffee, trotted after the colonel.

"Put that back right now, it's full of cholesterol." Daniel snatched the plastic wrapped block from unresisting fingers and replaced it with a more arterially friendly brand. Jack leaned one hip on the refrigerated display, his arms crossed.

"Aw Danny I like full fat cheese."

"it's very bad for you. Now, don't pout Jack..."

Jack looked outraged and snapped upright, angrily. "I'm NOT pouting!"

Daniel began to walk away but caught Jacks defiant motion out of the corner of his eye. "You so are. And you can put that back too – honestly Jack, have you no respect for your body?" He smiled as he watched Jack toss the bottle of cheezewhiz back into the display.

They shopped in silence for a while, Jack behaving himself as much as he could, trailing along behind his friend like a sullen child. Daniel attempted to bypass the snack isle but Jack took a firm hold of the cart and steered them over to where a young boy was stacking the shelves. Jack beamed at the lad.

"Hey Calvin, what's on special today?"

"Oh hey Colonel Jack," the boy smiled back, waving a large package at the two men. "We got a family pack of Twinkies at half price." Jack's eyes sparkled.

"Woo hoo – fire that into the cart for me there."

"Jack!" shouted Daniel retrieving the family pack and tossing it back to Calvin.

"What?"

Daniel sighed and tugged the cart away from his annoying friend, "Fat – cholesterol – excess sugar...?" he muttered under his breath as he headed towards the checkout. Jack trailed behind him, hands firmly thrust into his jeans pockets and a frown on his face that would make a Klingon proud.

"Hey, I'm never brining you grocery shopping with me again," grumbled Jack, though Daniel chose to ignore the comment, sliding the cart to a halt at their favourite checkout. A small dark haired woman smiled at them from behind the till.

"Hey guys, need a hand packing?"

Jack lifted his case of beer out of the cart stood back to allow Daniel access to the paper bags. He shook his head, and continued to lift items out of the cart for the woman to scan. "Nah Tina, thanks anyway but Danny is fussy about that – he likes to do it himself."

"No problem. So that's $38." She announced sweetly looking first at Jack, then Daniel who was obliviously packing their purchases.

"I take it I'm paying again?" muttered Jack. Daniel finished his packing and shrugged. "Well I'm cooking the meal so it's only fair."

"But I have to do the washing up," whined Jack, fishing about in his wallet for some bills.

"Well I had to plan the meal and write the list."

"What list? – you grabbed the first thing...."

"Pay the nice lady, Jack."

Jack handed over two twenty dollar bills and glared at his unrepentant friend until Tina handed him his change. Then he turned and offered the woman his most dazzling smile. He lifted his crate of beer, leaving Daniel to carry all the other stuff.

"Thank you Tina, a pleasure as always," he grinned.

As the two men walked away, Tina turned to her friend on the next till and cocked her head towards the retreating backs. "They are SUCH a cute couple!"

The other woman sighed theatrically. "I know, but it's a waste of talent."

"Yeah the really good-looking ones are always batting for the wrong team!"

I put down my cutlery and burp loudly. Usually this would earn me a disapproving look from my best buddy but tonight, he doesn't even notice. I suck my front teeth and push the empty plate away. Daniel cooked Garlic Chicken and boiled potatoes with steamed vegetables. I managed two portions and have plans for the leftovers too. But Daniel's quiet mood is distracting me and I want to know what's bugging him. "So are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" I ask quietly, resting my chin on my hands and leaning forward. Daniel sighs and places his cutlery on his own, far from empty, plate.

"Nothing's wrong."

I reach over and taking both mine, and Daniel's dishes, head for the kitchen.

"Really? You've barely said two words since we left the supermarket."

"I was thinking about...stuff." Daniel lifts the chicken platter and follows me, methodically wrapping the leftovers in foil and placing them into the fridge. I smile as he begins loading the dishwasher.

"I would be worried if you stopped. So spill – what's got your tail twisted?"

Daniel watches me scrape the untouched food from his plate without comment. Finally he goes to retrieve the rest of the dishes and helps me tidy up. When the kitchen is once again clean, Daniel tosses the dishcloth into the laundry and heads for the living room.

"What are we watching tonight?" he asks as he settles himself on the couch. I go over to the VCR and pop in a tape.

"The Maltese Falcon and you didn't answer my question."

"Jack we watched that last weekend."

"I like it okay? Last time I let you choose the film. it was some artsy French skin flick that I couldn't even understand."

I flop down next to him and reach over him to grab the remote from the end table. Daniel seems to flinch back, which makes me scowl. But before I can ask what's wrong again, Daniel laughs nervously.

"There were subtitles."

"I can't read subtitles and watch the action at the same time. Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Daniel tries to make a grab for the remote, obviously hoping that I will shut up once the film is running but I have other ideas, and hold the remote out of reach. Daniel slumps back against the cushions and lets his breath out in a frustrated whoosh. Nothing can distract me when I got into one of my pedantic moods.

"Jack don't you think it's a little odd?"

I place the remote on the coffee table and turn round to look at my friend with curiosity.

"What?"

"Us."

"You think we are odd? Well okay yes, I suppose we are odd. Define odd!"

Daniel suddenly springs to his feet, surprising the shit out of me. He begins pacing back and forwards across the rug.

"Okay I'll define it. Look in the bathroom – two robes hanging on the door that say ‘his' and ‘his'. Half the medicine cabinet is taken up with my allergy meds. You had to buy a new shelf unit from Ikea to house my reference books and a desk in the spare room for my laptop. Most of my clothes are in your closet. I've had to move my fish tank over here because I spend more time here than at my own place and the poor buggers were in danger of starving to death! I helped you pick out those God dammed drapes, Jack!"

I remain motionless on the sofa, wondering what the hell Daniel is on about. Of course he had helped pick the drapes, I have no sense of style and everyone knows it.

"Danny calm down. What the hell are you trying to say?"

"We're living together Jack."

"I beg your pardon."

"We're a gay couple."

"WHAT!!!!!?" I'm on my feet now too, eyes wide with shock and confusion. I'm gaping at Daniel like he's some weird alien pod person. Daniel flushes red and finally gets to the point, finally tells me what has been bothering him all night.

"I overheard Tina and Annie at the supermarket as we were leaving. They think we're together."

I sigh with relief. Is that all? Daniel isn't going to have to make an appointment with Mackenzie after all.

"Well sure they do – two guys going grocery shopping together every weekend – I think anyone would make that assumption."

"But Jack – we really ARE a couple. We spend every waking moment together, on and off duty. I used to come round on a Friday night, now it's the whole weekend. I only go to my place these days to pick up my mail. We go shopping and visiting galleries and to ice hockey rinks and...."

"We don't have sex."

Now it's been a while since I've actually been in a relationship, but I'm sure I remember that sex is a mighty large part of being a couple. Surely Daniel needs reminding of that fact too.

"What?" says the anthropologist dumbly.

"Gay couples have sex, Danny. We're just a couple of good friends who enjoy each other's company. There is a BIG fat honkin' difference."

I'm hoping that this will be enough reassurance to make my friend see how stupid his current line of reasoning actually is, but this is Daniel Jackson here, a past master of ‘not getting it'.

"But it's the ONLY difference. If we had sex right now, we'd be an old married gay couple. I'm telling you Jack it's only a matter of time."

"Okay, see now you're freaking me out. Are you trying to tell me you're gay?" I ask, trying to keep the eagerness out of my voice.

"No. No I'm not gay." Daniel flushes red. I wilt a little and sit back down again, pulling Daniel down with me.

"So in what way to we have a problem here?"

Daniel looks crestfallen. "Perceptions, Jack. As in ‘other people's'. We look to the outside world like a fucking gay couple."

I sigh and reach for the remote, starting the film running more to have something other than Daniel to look at. We both stare at the screen for a moment before I sigh and switch the tape off. I think I'm about to go out on a limb here. Turning to face Daniel I say quietly, "Does it really bother you this much? I mean obviously it bothers you, but... personally, I don't care what people think. gay, bi, het – they're all just labels and I don't much like labels. People are just people. The world would be a happier place if everyone stopped getting bent out of shape over sex."

"Gosh, Jack. I'm impressed. You're far more open minded than I ever gave you credit for. Most straight guys don't share your worldview though."

"There ya go again with the labels. Straight is a label too ya know?"

I know as soon as the words are out of my mouth that they could be interpreted several ways. If, for example, Daniel were gay, my last comment could be interpreted as a ‘come on'. Fortunately though, Daniel isn't gay, but I think he's beginning to wonder about ME. Well, it had to come out eventually I suppose.

"Jack – if you had to define your sexuality, how would you do it without using, what you refer to as ‘labels'. You see as a linguist, I find labels an invaluable tool..."

"I can't define my sexuality.'

"Sure you can, just pick a label that fits what you are."

I turn away and stare at a spot on the far wall. I reach for the remote but don't switch the film on; I just toss the control from one hand to the other.

"Daniel – I don't sleep with kids or animals. Anything else is pretty much fine by me."

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that Daniel's mouth is hanging wide open. Eventually his voice returns. "God – are you saying you're bisexual then?"

"I'm saying that when it comes to sex – I'm open to almost anything."

Daniel snatches the remote and tosses it over the back of the sofa. He grabs my hands and forces me to look at him. "Jack, have you had sex with a man before?"

I tug my hands free and get to my feet quickly. Trust Daniel to be so blunt. I really wish I'd never started this now. If he didn't look so upset, I would probably just come clean, but I don't want to freak him out. "That's none of your damned business, Daniel."

"Well I'm sorry if I'm stepping over the line a little here Jack, but this is all news to me! Am I the only person on the planet who didn't know that you're...you're...you're damn! – Without using labels, I can't even say what you are."

"All the more reason to forget about the label thing. Daniel, sex is a pleasant pastime that I used to indulge in whenever I could. These days it's a distant memory, and frankly I don't have a problem with it. I don't like casual sex and there's no chance of me finding a permanent partner while I'm working in outer space. So I'm channelling all my energy into remodelling the basement and taking lots of cold showers. Now can we please get past this and back to the Maltese Falcon?"

Okay so I didn't really answer his question. I'm fairly sure now that he couldn't cope with the truth, so I wait for him to drop the subject and settle back to watch the movie. Then the impossible happens. Daniel leans forward and kisses me hard on the lips.

I'm too shocked to react at first, sitting immobile while my best friend sucks my face off. Not until Daniel's tongue probes between my slightly parted lips, do I move.

"Whoa!" I gasp, jerking backwards so hard that my head impacts with the back of the couch. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Daniel's eyes flutter open and I noticed that they are a much darker shade of blue than usual. As I stare, I see how dilated they are. The pupils so wide that little of the pale blue iris remains visible. Daniel's chest rises and falls in short panting breaths, making the blood roar in my ears. He pulls his glasses from his face, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry, sorry – I don't know why I did that. I guess I didn't believe all that stuff about labels." Daniel lays his glasses on the coffee table, and scrubs both his hands across his eyes. Didn't believe me, huh? So instead of asking a few more pertinent questions like any normal man would do, he throws himself at me and sucks the breath out of me? And does it very well I might add. So well, in fact, that I'm afraid I simply can't let him walk away from this. When he makes an attempt to stand, he finds himself instead, flat on his back on the floor, pinned by an aroused but angry Jack O'Neill.

"Well Danny, what does your huge brain tell you? Was I bullshitting, or telling the truth? Actually - you know what - forget the brain..." I gyrate my hips slowly against his crotch, "...what does your body tell you?"

"Jack!" he gasps, responding to my grinding motion by arching even closer. I groan and bury my mouth in Daniels exposed throat. The skin beneath my lips is hot and trembling. It hasn't escaped my notice that he's sporting a rather impressive bulge in his trousers. I press my body closer and the bulge rubs against my own.

As I lie here, sprawled across my best friend, on the floor, fully clothed (but desperate to be less so), I wonder what the hell is going on. For years now, the two of us have practically lived in each other's pockets, shared everything; meals, beer, the good times and the bad. We are friends who enjoy each other's company, nothing more.

Sure I had harboured a few fantasies in the beginning, but Daniel showed no signs of reciprocating. He was married and in love with his wife, the reason, the ONLY reason he was on the team was to find her. Once that was accomplished, he would go home without a backwards glance.

In the months since Sha're died, I often wondered why he stayed with SG1. Maybe he felt he had nothing to go back to Abydos for; now that she was truly gone. Maybe the team had become his only family; maybe the fight against the Goa'uld was the most important thing to him now. I had always been afraid to ask, afraid that if I pointed it out, Daniel might suddenly decide to leave and then I would have lost my soul mate, my friend.

I became an expert in hiding my feelings for Daniel, but it was so much harder to do after Sha're. Daniel was no longer tied by his marriage vows, and had made several stumbling attempts to find love in the arms of others. I watched and died a little inside each time. The women were all beautiful, intelligent and unerringly evil, but they were all first and foremost women. If Daniel was gay, then I would be the first to notice. Trust me.

Eventually Daniel gave up on his quest to find love and settled back down into the familiar routine with me. Both of us were alone, craved company and enjoyed being with each other so it made sense to spend our downtime together. To begin with, we had gone to bars, but I found it too much of a strain fending off eager females who wanted to take Daniel (and sometimes the both of us) home with them. These days, we pretty much just stayed in, drinking beer and watching movies.

Until five minutes ago, I was sure that we would be doing this right up till the moment they nailed the lid shut on my coffin. Until my *previously*, heterosexual friend had tried to suck my tonsils out. I'm still a little unclear on why Daniel did that.

He had been upset that the girls at the Supermarket had assumed we were a couple but I would never have figured him to be so freaked by the notion. I have often overheard such comments, and secretly I'm rather proud that people think I could attract a ‘looker' like Daniel at all. If it doesn't bother me, why the hell does it bother the most open-minded man I know?

Unless it touches a nerve? Maybe Daniel is freaked because he secretly wants it to be true? Judging by the way he kissed me, Daniel is definitely not so ‘straight' as I had always assumed. I push myself up a little and gaze down into the dazed blue eyes, looking for the answers but seeing only my own face reflected back at me.

Daniel makes no attempt to move, his chest rising and falling in tiny panting breaths, his lips parted and moist. I drag my eyes from the impossibly blue eyes to the soft, inviting lips and feel myself harden even more. Daniel feels it too and trembles against me. I gulp, trying to get control of the situation back. Things haven't gotten to the point yet where there would be no turning back. We could still make a save here, explain this away, laugh about it later. If I can just find the strength to get up.

Bracing my arms on either side of Daniel's waist, I struggle up onto my knees and manage to drag my lips away from Daniels throat, breaking contact with him altogether. Daniel's body arches upwards, seeking to regain the heat that has been removed. His eyes flutter closed. My gaze is drawn to the pulse hammering madly beneath the reddened flesh I had only moments ago been devouring. Shaking my head to clear the image, I throw myself sideways and roll back onto my knees, then up onto my feet. Daniel remains exactly where he is.

I chew my lip, wondering what to say. I see the remote lying on the table and quickly switch the movie back on. Then I grab Daniel by the arm, haul him to his feet and shove him down onto the sofa. Daniel looks absolutely devastated. I glance sideways and try to plaster a goofy look onto my face.

"Well all that proves is that we both desperately need to get laid." I grin. Daniel gulps and runs a shaking hand through his hair.

"Sure Jack, after the film."

I'm not sure I hear him right. I sneak a quick look under lowered lashes and yeah, he's smiling. Does that mean he's joking or does it mean he's serious? I have no idea. Then suddenly he turns and hits me with the full impact of those laser beams.

"Gay couple, Jack. TOLD you."

Oh God, he IS serious. Sweet. I relax back onto the sofa, content to let him set the pace.

One Week Later...

Daniel stopped the shopping cart at the fresh produce stall and looked longingly at the melons. The team had a full schedule for the next month so buying fresh fruit was a big no-no. He spotted Jack as he appeared at the top of the next isle, carrying a bottle of wine.

Daniel smiled, wondering if it was really this easy to house-train Jack O'Neill? He doubted it. He pushed the cart into the next isle.

"Do we need coffee?" he asked.

Jack had placed the wine into the cart and nodded. Of course they were out of coffee, there were days when it was necessary to buy it on a daily basis. He picked up Daniel's favourite brand and tossed it into the cart before heading towards the dairy products.

He had been a good boy all week, he had eaten all the low fat, low cholesterol, low flavour foods that Daniel had prepared for them and now he wanted a treat. Daniel was right behind him, almost breathing down his neck. Which wasn't such a bad feeling.

"Full fat cheese, Jack?"

"Please...?"

Daniel began to walk away, a huge grin splitting his face, but hidden from Jack's view. Then he turned, walked back to Jack and tossed both the cheese and a large bottle of cheezewiz into the cart. Jack's smile was dazzling. He leaned in close and whispered silkily into Daniel's ear, "I can see I'm going to have to spend a lot more time naked and tied to the bed, if this is the reward I get."

Daniel blushed crimson, nudging Jack with his shoulder. As they rounded the next isle, Jack spotted Calvin.

"Hey Calvin, what's on special today?"

"Oh hey Colonel Jack," the boy smiled back, waving a large package at the two men. "Still got these Twinkies at half price." Jack's eyes sparkled as he looked at Daniel beseechingly.

"No way. I have SOME standards left," said Daniel, dragging both the cart and a reluctant Jack towards the tills. Tina watched them approach with a huge grin.

"Hey guys, I have to ask this or they fire me; need a hand packing?"

Jack leered suggestively at his friend, "Nah Tina, Daniel is very talented when it comes to *packing*. I usually find it best to let him get on with it."

Tina snorted, and Daniel's mouth worked silently for several moments, unable to think of a suitable comeback line though his embarrassment.

"Okay, that's $57." She announced sweetly looking first at Jack, then Daniel who looked everywhere but back at her.

"Me again?" grumbled Jack incredulously. Daniel finished his *packing* and shrugged.

"Consider it payment for services rendered." This time it was Jack who blushed. Tina tried to hide her fit of giggles behind her hand, but at the other till, Angie was being less tactful. Jack glared at her but she couldn't have stopped laughing if he's pulled his handgun on her.

"Pay the nice lady, Jack." Daniel smiled as he picked up their purchases and headed for the door. Jack handed over the money and waited for his change.

As Tina pressed the change into his hand she stage whispered, "You have your hands full there."

Jack smiled and walked away, turning at the last moment to comment over his shoulder, "Hey – eyes front okay, he's mine."

"Damn."