PART ONE

Daniel hiccupped and gazed balefully at the empty bottle in his hand. Where the hell had his wine gone? He tipped the bottle up and watched dispassionately as a few drips landed on his priceless Arabian rug. Wine just doesn't last as long as it used to!

He carefully placed the empty bottle on the hearthstones and glowered as it toppled and fell onto the carpet. He shook an admonishing finger at the mischievous bottle and tried that again. This time the wine bottle behaved and stayed where he put it. Then Daniel got unsteadily to his feet and staggered into the kitchen. Here he found evidence that there was a wine thief hiding in his loft. Another bottle lay empty and forlorn on the worktop, the cork still weeping a little onto the surface like a decapitated head. Yuck where on earth did that thought come from?

Daniel opened the fridge and peered myopically inside. He had to have some white wine in here. Nope. Guess not. Well he wanted some more wine, so he would just have to go out and get some! He glanced down at his attire and sighed. They probably wouldn't let him into the store wearing pyjamas and slippers. And come to think of it – it really was too far to walk and he was in no fit state to drive. But he wanted more wine!

Sometime around his fourth of fifth glass, the pain had finally begun to subside and he had gratefully surrendered to the temporary oblivion offered by too much booze. He almost never drank these days. But occasionally he felt the need to get completely wasted, shit-faced, inebriated, drunk, pissed as a fart! He giggled as he mentally reeled of as many ways as he could think of to describe his current state.

He'd felt the need tonight. It had been a long time coming and his friends had been worried about his mental state for weeks. Ever since Abydos actually. But he'd convinced them he was OK. Actually he probably hadn't convinced Jack but what could he have done? He couldn't bring her back could he? And Daniel knew he felt guilty. As guilty as Teal'c probably but with far less reason to.

Sure, he'd promised they would get her back but Daniel wasn't that naive. He knew they had been words of comfort rather than actual promises. Even Jack couldn't promise that. So he'd laid low until they all got off his back then he'd come home and proceeded to get completely blasted out of his skull. Unfortunately he hadn't planned it too well and he was running low on resources. Jack wouldn't have made that mistake. He would have bought in enough alcohol to poison the whole Base! Well *fuck* Jack!

An idea occurred to him and he picked up the phone. As he dialled the number he got tangled in the cord and had the receiver upside down by the time his call was answered,

"Jack?hi-smee-daniel."

// Daniel? Jesus it's two in the morning! You ok? //

"Ya sure ya betcha! *Hic.* Listen Jack I need a *little* favour"

// What's wrong? //

"Could you come on *hic* over? And could you bring some wine? *hic*"

Jack stared at the whining receiver in his hand like it was a snake for a moment before slamming it down. He rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes and reached over to click on the bedside lamp. Ah shit - only been asleep for twenty godammed minutes! Still - he couldn't ignore Daniel's cry for help.

They had all been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Three weeks ago today, Daniel had lost his wife. Teal'c had been forced to shoot and kill her. She was dead, not just kidnapped, not just taken as a host, not just impregnated by a Goa'uld – Actually dead. Not coming back ever. Jack could barely take it in.

And yet Daniel had remained calm and quiet. He refused to talk about Sha're after the burial on Abydos and nothing Jack had said made his friend open up. He acted like he was over it, like the dream he'd lived had somehow taken away his grief. You didn't have to be a shrink to know that wasn't possible.

No - Daniel was in denial. No doubt about that. Fraiser had failed to get him to go to grief counselling and she couldn't force him. He was still a civilian. Secretly Jack was pleased about that – Hell, counselling was worse than field surgery without painkillers! He'd had both and he knew which one he preferred.

Still they had all been warned about delayed reaction and had been holding their collective breaths for weeks. Now Daniel phoned up at two am demanding that Jack bring him more booze? Yup this was it. The footwear had fallen.

Jack threw back the quilt and staggered naked to the toilet. After a quick pee, a few splashes of cold water on his face and a squirt of toothpaste to take away the 'just woke up' feeling in his mouth, he pulled on his old sweatpants and a zip-up hooded jogging jersey without bothering about underwear and headed into the hall.

He found his training shoes, slipped his bare feet in without unlacing them then he snagged his truck keys form the hall table and set off to rescue his friend from himself. He didn't stop to buy any wine. Obviously the very fact that Daniel had requested it meant that he'd had way too much already.

Jack stood shivering in the hallway with his finger pressed to the doorbell for several minutes. He was worried that Daniel may have passed out and was getting ready to kick down the door when it opened a fraction, and a myopic blue and red eyeball peered out from behind the chain.

*Well at least he's being security conscious these days. *

The door closed momentarily then flew open and Jack got a handful of very drunk archaeologist.

"You came! Jack, *hic* my friend, my buddy, my pal - you came!"

"Sure I came. You asked me didn't you?"

"Jack, m'so glad you're here."

Daniel hiccupped again and sagged in Jack's arms. The Colonel hitched his shoulder under his armpit and steered him back into the loft. They banged off several walls in the process of reaching the living room and dislodged at least one artefact from a shelf but Jack tried to ignore it all and concentrated on getting Daniel sober.

He let Daniel drop onto the sofa and tried to turn towards the kitchen to make some coffee but Daniel snagged his sleeve and hauled him down onto his lap.

"Hi Jack."

He smiled blearily as he pressed his lips against Jack's neck. Oooooohhh Boy. So this was Daniel Jackson in a playful mood? Jack tried to get up but his friend was no ten stone weakling these days. Two muscular arms locked around his waist and hugged him tight.

"Where ya goin *hic* Jack? You just got here."

Jack sighed and reached behind to loosen the other man's grip. This only made the zip on his jersey slide a little further down and Daniel giggled and buried his face in the fuzz of soft chest hairs now visible. Jack hissed and twisted free, landing unceremoniously in a heap on the floor at Daniel's feet. Bare feet.

*Christ he's in his fucking pyjamas!*

Jack wasn't sure why the fact unsettled him as much as it did and dragged his eyes away from the naked toes. Daniel was smiling down at him, swaying slightly like he might just fall off the couch at any second.

"Where's the wine Jack? Did you get the wine?"

"Trust me here Daniel – you really don't need anymore booze!"

"Aww Jack I want wine!"

*FUCK he's pouting! That is an honest to goodness pout I'm seeing. *

Jack rolled away and got painfully onto his knees. "I'm gonna go make some coffee Daniel. I want you to sit here till I get back Ok?"

"Yesssir!" The younger man fired off a mock salute then dissolved into a fit of giggles allowing Jack to beat a hasty retreat.

In the kitchen, Jack switched on the coffee maker and started a strong Colombian blend heating then raked through Daniels cupboard until he found a tiny jar of instant. 'For those times when you just couldn't wait.' He was tapping his fingers impatiently while waiting for the kettle to boil when Daniel attached himself to his back like a limpet.

Two determined arms snaked around his waist and up over his chest then Daniel's weight pressed him forward into the worktop.

"*Hic*, Hi Jack, whatcha doin?"

Jack tried to loosen the hands tugging fitfully at the zip of his jogging shirt. He really wished he'd taken the time to get properly dressed before coming over but at the time, expedience had seemed important.

"Daniel, let go will ya? I'm trying to make coffee here."

When he felt the zip begin to give, Jack hastily twisted around to face Daniel, which in retrospect turned out to be a very bad idea. Daniel was now plastered to the entire length of his body and his hands were cupping Jack's ass and squeezing. Daniels hot moist lips attached themselves to Jack's throat and he could feel the brush of teeth against his flushed skin.

*Oh Boy! This is new! *

"Daniel?" he croaked unsteadily. After a long pause, Daniel lifted his head and looked enquiringly at his friend.

"Jack?"

"Whatcha doing?"

Daniel seemed to consider this for a moment then he smiled blearily and hiccupped again.

"Kissing *hic* you."

"Well stop it!"

Jack quickly turned back to the counter trying to ignore Daniel's roaming hands as he poured water into their cups. It was getting very hard, both literally and figuratively.

"Aww come ON," he whined, as the hands slipped into the elasticised waistband of his jogging pants and he nearly poured water all over the worktop,

"Woah, Danny.....I don't think so!"

Jack put down the kettle and braced his hands on the surface, gently but firmly pushing Daniel backwards, but the younger man was now leaning hard against his back, effectively trapping him against the unyielding worktop. Daniel sunk his teeth into the sensitive juncture of neck and shoulder and Jack's body arched, his head snapping back at the incredibly erotic touch. Daniel kissed and licked and fondled and Jack felt his knees begin to buckle.

Taking a deep breath, he spun round and shoved Daniel away. He didn't mean to push quite so hard, or perhaps it was just that Daniel was too drunk to compensate, but the younger man staggered backwards and impacted with the opposite counter then slid down until his ass hit the tiles. Jack quickly readjusted himself before kneeling beside his friend, his voice a tad on the unsteady side, he enquired,

"Jesus Danny – how much have you had? I've never seen you like this."

"You've never seen me full stop!"

"Daniel?"

"Jack – I need to tell you something"

Some deeply-honed sense of self-preservation screamed at Jack that he did NOT want to hear the next words scheduled to disembark the archaeologist's mouth and so he reached forward and grabbed a handful of PJ top, hauling him upright again. He balanced him against the worktop then went to retrieve the coffee.

"Drink!" He commanded when Daniel only stared at him balefully through the steam. One more defiant glare and he took the cup shakily. Jack felt it only prudent to keep his grip on the cup too. After a few sips, Daniel relaxed and allowed Jack to help him through the living room to the three steps that led up to his bedroom.

Moments later Daniel was on the bed, on his back, giggling like a teenager and refusing to let go of a very dishevelled O'Neil who was sprawled over him like a blanket. Jack tried to roll free but Daniel rolled with him and wrapped those oh-so-strong arms round him again and hugged him tight. Jack, now on his back and pinned beneath his friend, forced his head up to fix Daniel with what he hoped was coming off as a stern look. Daniel grinned and lowered his lips to brush Jack's softly.

Jack froze.

He had carried an image of Daniel 'kissing' in his head since he had watched Sha're steal his friend's breath from him on Abydos. It had been quite compelling, but Jack had never questioned why he had found it so erotic. Or why it was Daniel's face he saw when he remembered that kiss and not his beautiful wife's. As Daniel's kiss deepened he felt his body responding and pushed at Daniel in blind panic.

His friend was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing, he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning and Jack couldn't, *shouldn't* take advantage of it. His mind screamed at him to pull away, to stop the kiss before any more damage was done, but his heart was hammering loudly enough to drown out rational thought.

Like a drowning man fighting to stay above the surface for one moment longer, Jack raised his hands to cup the face above his and forced Daniel's questing lips from his own. His voice shook with raw emotion,

"Danny please don't..."

The eyes that gazed down at him were luminous with the sheen of unshed tears. It took Jack's breath away and he trembled under the intensity of his feelings for this man. He couldn't let this happen but neither could he prevent it. On automatic pilot now, he slid his hands from Daniel's cheeks, into his hair and desperately kissed him back. Daniel's lips glided over his and the probing of his tongue against Jack's had the Colonel gasping in shock at the erotic touch.

*Shit! What the hell am I doing? *

Galvanised by the bolt of desire arcing through his traitorous body, he finally found the strength to break free and rolled off the bed coming fluidly to his feet. He glared down at Daniel's grinning face and shook his head to clear it. What the hell was the matter with him? Granted it had been quite some time since he'd gotten any, but he'd gone without before and never began to find his teammates attractive! Especially not his male teammates! Daniel sat up and burped loudly.

"Hey – that cured my hiccups! Cmon Jack, grab some wine and let's go to bed whaddaya say?"

"I say.....lets not."

Daniel peered at his friend, swaying alarmingly and tried to focus on Jack's face. Without glasses it would be difficult enough but add to that the amount of alcohol he had consumed and he was fighting a loosing battle!

"Stop that!"

Jack looked at both his hands in confusion then frowned at Daniel.

"Stop what?"

"Moving 'round....swaying like that. s'makin' me feel sick!"

Ah! *Swirling Death Syndrome* was a sure indicator that at some point this evening, Daniel was going to be parted from his stomach contents. With one last accusing look at Jack, he flopped down on the pillows and closed his eyes.

"Tell your friend to lie still too," he whispered softly.

*And seeing double too – poor bastard! *

Jack about turned and beat a hasty retreat back to Daniel's living room and eyed the couch with disgust. He'd slept there before and found it remarkably uncomfortable but usually he was too drunk to notice. Tonight, he was sober.

Of course he could just go home, *should* really go home after the 'kissing' incident, but he was unwilling to leave Daniel alone. Despite everything, he had come to offer support and comfort and he still intended to do so, just not in the way Daniel seemed to need it. This was a side of Daniel's character that Jack had never seen before and quite frankly, it scared the shit out of him for reasons he really didn't want to examine too closely.

He was just about to go in search of spare sheets when Daniel cannoned into him knocking them both onto the couch. Daniel made a gut wrenching noise and promptly threw up, all over himself, Jack and the couch. He then fell onto the floor and lay there looking up blindly at the ceiling.

"Aw crap!" Jack muttered looking at the mess. He made sure that Daniel was in no immediate danger of choking before bolting for the kitchen. A few moments later he returned to the couch with a bucket of soapy water and a cloth and minus his shirt and trousers which he and left in a pile on the floor. He eased himself down gently beside his friend and gently wiped his face.

"You ok?"

"She's gone Jack."

"Sha're? Yes Danny she's really gone."

Jack turned from the grief in Daniel's eyes and concentrated on getting the marks off the navy blue couch. After several moments scrubbing he turned back and realised that Daniel was crying soundlessly, the tears tracking down his face to fall silently onto the rug. Jack was at a loss. He didn't cope well with tears.

"Danny......."

"I'm ok! Thanks Jack. I'm fine – really."

Jack threw the cloth into the bucket and pulled Daniel into a sitting position. What he really wanted to do was draw his friend closer and offer the security of his embrace, but Daniel's PJ top was still a biohazard. Carefully, he unbuttoned the top and helped Daniel to shrug free of it.

"Stay put a minute OK?"

Jack cautioned as he padded about, throwing their soiled clothing into the washer and disposing of the bucket and cloth before coming back to gaze down at his friend. Daniel didn't need sex; he needed someone to hold onto. It was obvious now to Jack and he was slightly ashamed that he hadn't seen the scenario earlier for what it had really been, Daniel's desperate need for comfort. He made a decision and hauled his friend upright.

"You need sleep Danny. Let's go to bed."

Daniel dropped the cup and it clattered noisily in the sink. He hissed through clenched teeth and shot a worried look over his shoulder. After a moment, he realised that no one was coming to investigate the noise and turned back to the task of getting a drink of water. No easy task without turning on the light. He picked up another cup from the drainer and more carefully this time; he turned on the cold tap and filled the cup to the brim. His hands were still shaking as he lifted the cup to his lips and drained it in one gulp.

He ran his tongue over his teeth and grimaced. Turning, he headed for the bathroom, still clutching the cup in shaking hands. His head pounded and his mouth felt like a sewer. But the worst thing about it was the loss of memory. It always happened when Daniel drank too much, that's why he rarely touched alcohol.

He staggered into his bathroom and glared at his hazy reflection in the mirror. He had no idea where his glasses were and perhaps that was just as well,* what he could make out of his reflection was not a pretty sight. He located the toothpaste and squirted a healthy portion directly into his mouth. While swirling the paste around his mouth, he filled the cup again and gargled. Now his mouth felt more hospitable, but his head still pounded. He found the painkillers and washed them down with another cup of water.

As he splashed copious amounts of cold water onto his face, he began to feel more human, and consequently more capable of going back to face what waited for him in his bedroom.

Clutching the cup tightly, he padded silently across the wooden floor of his still dark shrouded living room and *leant against the doorjamb. The other occupant of his bed was still there! It wasn't a dream, or rather a nightmare. He watched his sleeping partner from the safety of the doorway.

With a sense of morbid fascination, Daniel crept quietly up the steps to his bed and stared down at the softly snoring figure barely covered by the thin sheet. He sipped more water and desperately tried to call to mind the events that had lead to him waking up in the middle of the night, in bed, with a naked Jack O'Neill!

He remembered vaguely buying some wine, rather a lot of wine actually when he was grocery shopping. He had drunk it alone though, as far as he could remember. Jack must have come round last night when Daniel was too drunk to remember. Perhaps Jack got drunk too? No, Jack wouldn't have touched the wine – he only drank beer and Daniel had none. Maybe he brought his own?

If that were the case, Jack would have passed out on the sofa as he had done on countless other occasions when the two of them had played chess into the early hours of the morning, or drunk too much while watching the American Football. It all made perfect sense up to the point where Jack got naked and into Daniel's bed!

He struggled to remember. Suddenly Jack stirred and threw an arm over his eyes. The motion pulled at the sheet, dragging it further down the flat and well-muscled abdomen. Daniel had always been impressed that Jack kept himself so fit. He'd often looked at Jack in the showers and wondered if he would still be as well toned when he reached Jack's age. But that's all he had thought. He was just admiring the body of a fellow colleague! Nothing wrong with that. He admired Teal'c too. No harm in noticing such things was there?

Now he was noticing that the moonlight turned Jack's hair to silver and threw his skin into sharp contrasts of dark and light. It reflected off the metal dog tags nestling against his chest. Daniel licked his dry lips and simply watched Jack sleep. God he wished he could remember what had happened. Jack always remembered everything the next morning. Sometimes Daniel was sure he was making the stuff up but someone always confirmed it to be true. Jack would remember.

Jack was not sleeping. He was aware of Daniel standing over him, and had in fact been peering up at him unnoticed from the shadows under his raised arm for some time. Daniel looked horrified. Which was understandable. He wondered what was going through his friend's head at that moment. Didn't take a genius to work it out. Daniel was hoping like hell that he hadn't spent the night fucking his best friend! He now had at least two weeks worth of ammunition to tease the shit out of the archaeologist, but to be honest,* his heart wasn't really in it.

He had spent the last few hours with Daniel cradled in his arms, rocking him while he wept and holding him tight, reassuring him that he wasn't alone. It had been a very difficult few hours and he was exhausted, but Daniel had desperately needed the contact and the emotional release.

Jack had known from the beginning that he wouldn't be able to explain this to his friend when they woke up. He had never been any good at articulating feelings, and only marginally better at showing them. He was almost sure that Daniel would have no memory of what had gone before, namely the whole kissing incident, which by the way, he had decided to forget ever happened, but to be on the safe side he had formulated a plan.

Daniel would expect him to do something like this. After all, Colonel Jack O'Neill would never forgo an opportunity to tease the crap out of his friend. Jack tried to stifle his grin by engaging in a back cracking stretch, which pulled the sheet right down to his thighs.

Daniel stepped back in shock and his foot floundered in thin air. He wound up on his ass at the bottom of the steps leading up to his bed, covered in water but with the cup still intact. Jack rolled onto his stomach and peered down at him over the edge of the bed.

"Hey Danny. Whacha doin?"

Daniel struggled to his feet, vainly brushing at the drips of water cascading down his bare chest and soaking the front of his PJ bottoms. He stood at the foot of the steps, dishevelled, wet and shivering from the cold and looked up at Jack through those huge blue eyes.

"I'm er...not sure."

Jack smiled at him in a manner Daniel had never seen before. If pressed to categorise it, Daniel would have to say that the smile was libidinous. Then Jack lifted the sheet invitingly; exposing his entire body to Daniel's shocked eyes, and murmured,

"Come back to bed Danny. You look half frozen."

Daniel took the steps like a condemned man going to the gallows. When he reached the bed, he yanked the sheet free of Jack's unresisting hand and tucked it firmly back down around his friend. Once he was sure that nothing remained exposed, he gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and bit his bottom lip. Jack smiled that odd smile again but Daniel was having none of it.

"Jack....why are you in my bed....?"

"Well I *was* sleepin' till a certain archaeologist started clattering about in the kitchen."

".....and why are you naked?"

Jack sat up and the sheet fell down to his lap. Daniel had the urge to haul it back up to his shoulders but he was afraid to touch any part of his friend right now. Jack's hand shot out and grabbed Daniel's chin in strong sure fingers.

"You *do* remember last night don't you Danny?"

"Er.....I....no, no I don't."

Jack scowled and ran his thumb suggestively over Daniel's lips, making him shiver.

"Perhaps I'll have to remind you then?"

The words were menacing but Jack made no move towards Daniel. The younger man found that he'd been holding his breath and let it out in a whoosh. Jack could smell the minty aroma of toothpaste, could almost taste it, they were so close.

He let his eyes drift down to Daniel's lips and gently stroked them with his thumb, the memory of the previous evenings kiss still very fresh in his mind as his tongue darted out to moisten his own lips. Daniel's eyes were huge and glazed. His mouth slightly parted beneath the pressure of Jack's thumb.

"Jack?" he quavered.

Jack was seconds away from making the biggest mistake of his entire life and knew it. He had been joking with Daniel, trying to get one over on his friend, doing what was expected of him to lighten the mood, but it was all going horribly wrong! Once, he would have been able to pull this off without a hitch, but that was before his best friend had turned his life upside down with a kiss.

The urge to repeat last night's passionate embrace was so strong that the panic began to rise in his chest again. So much for forgetting it ever happened. He envied Daniel his convenient alcohol induced amnesia. Laughing like a maniac he threw Daniel onto the bed and grinned down at him, hoping like hell that his friend would get the joke.

Daniel tried to clear his spinning head.

*Oh my God he's laughing *

Daniel frowned as he glowered up at Jack.

*Yes, he is laughing - the complete and utter BASTARD! *

He slapped Jack hard on the shoulder, the only part of his friend he could safely touch at this point in time and pushed him off the bed. Jack took the sheet with him as he bounced down the steps, landing in a tangled heap at the bottom, but still laughing.

"You fell for it Daniel.....you actually believed we fucked didn't you?"

Daniel flushed red but remained lying on his back, one hand covering his eyes, the thumb and forefinger rubbing his throbbing temples.

"You Bastard!"

Jack got up, wrapping the sheet around him like a toga and skipped up the steps, launching himself back onto the bed next to Daniel. Now that he had chosen how to proceed with the situation, he threw himself into the part with gusto.

"You puked all over me *and* the couch last night you drunken little shit....." Jack merrily pronounced, trying not to notice that Daniel's PJ bottoms were gaping open.

"....don't worry - I got the worst of it off the couch last night but no way was I sleeping on it after that! And seeing as how you got the only pair of clean PJ's, I had to sleep butt-naked. I knew you'd think the worst when you woke. You shoudda seen your face – it was a classic!"

Daniel groaned and rolled away from Jack. A second later he felt the bed heave and then a still naked but sheet wrapped Jack was pressed against his back. The colonel peered over his shoulder trying to get a look at his face.

"Aw come on Daniel – you have to admit, this was the best send up ever? Actually I can't believe you fell for it! You weren't nearly drunk enough to find *me* attractive - were you?"

For a second, Daniel imagined that the tone for Jack's voice had turned serious but he was way too angry to analyse that and contented himself with elbowing him viciously in the stomach. He grinned wickedly as he felt Jack double up in pain at the unexpected blow, the tension leaving his body at last. Getting past his CO's lightning reflexes always made him feel better. When he had his face back under control, he rolled over to face the wheezing Colonel and rested his head on his hand.

"This is *not* funny Jack. Would you have done this if I were Sam?"

"I probably would have gone a bit further if you were Sam, hehehe."

"I don't believe you! You'd never take advantage of a friend's inebriation. I don't know why I even fell for it in the first place. Shit – you nearly kissed me!"

Jack propped his head up on his hand in a mirror image of Daniel. His words confirmed that he didn't remember the earlier kiss, which suited Jack just fine because at the end of the day, he *had* taken advantage of a friend's inebriation. That was something he was going to have to deal with eventually. Just not right now.

He secured his makeshift toga and padded off in search of food and his clothes. They needed to go into the dryer if he intended getting dressed anytime today. Glancing back at his friend still lying unhappily on the bed and tugging fitfully at damp flannel PJ's, he decided that it was in everyone's best interests if he got dressed as soon as possible!

Daniel followed Jack's retreating back with worried eyes. For a split second back there, when it had appeared that Jack would actually kiss him, something long buried deep inside had stirred to life and he had felt himself respond to the soft caress of strong fingers across his lips.

Jack insisted on spending the entire day with Daniel. All the younger man wanted was some quality time inside his own head to analyse what was happening between Jack and him. When had their relationship become so intense? He was willing to admit that a great deal of the confusion and guilt he was feeling was as a result of the grieving process.

He had lost his wife. The fact that he had actually been living with that loss since the day Apophis took her made things a little easier, but it didn't explain his sudden desire to crawl inside Jack's skin! Sure, he craved love and intimacy like anyone else, but why Jack? Why not – why not Sam? She was brilliant and beautiful and funny and – female!

But she didn't really *know* Daniel. Not like Jack did. He could never hide anything from Jack, and he loved his friend dearly for caring enough to get to know him inside and out. For example, anyone else would have left Daniel alone to his pissy, snarky mood hours ago, but Jack was still here. Not believing for one minute that Daniel didn't want his steady presence. And of course he was right to believe that.

Daniel was no stranger to the world of counselling and could see Jack's strategy clearly. He figured that eventually, Daniel would go boom, and all the suppressed grief would come pouring out. He intended to be there when it happened to offer his support and understanding and *God* Daniel loved him for that.

But he wouldn't break down. He had given up on crying over lost loved decades ago. So he sat back and watched as Jack made himself useful by cleaning the kitchen and anything else he could get his hands on, unaware that the *boom* had already happened.

They ate lunch and watched some TV. Jack accompanied Daniel on a trip to the local supermarket and took command of the trolley. Several times Daniel caught him putting things back on the shelves and replacing them with his own preferences which were usually packed full of cholesterol and sugar. Daniel smiled and waited for the Colonel to become distracted to remove the artery-furring produce from the cart. Eventually they made it to the cash desk with enough food for dinner.

Daniel cooked and Jack hung out in the kitchen offering helpful tips. He downed several of the beers he had insisted on buying and Daniel found himself feeling a little pleased that he would be having the pleasure of Jack's company for another night; he wouldn't risk driving after the beers. They ate their meal then watched a Hockey match but Jack didn't really follow the game. He was still worried about his friend.

Eventually Daniel got up and stretched.

"Think I'll hit the sack."

Jack kicked off his shoes and nodding, began to unbutton his shirt in preparation for a night on the uncomfortable couch. Daniel looked at his bedroom door hesitantly then back over his shoulder. Before he realised what he was thinking, the words slipped out and echoed in the silence.

"You could sleep in my bed if you want."

Jack's hands froze on his buttons. He risked a quick glance up and saw that Daniel was blushing furiously and rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm fine here," he managed to say despite the fact that his mouth had gone dryer than a riverbed in Death Valley. Daniel nodded and continued towards the bedroom.

"'Ok. If you change your mind...."

"Yeah - thanks."

And the door shut behind him. Jack let the breath that had frozen in his chest whoosh out and fell back against the couch cushions.

Sleep in his bed? He has no fucking idea does he? Not a clue!

Jack removed his shirt and trousers, folding them carefully and placing them on the floor, then fetched the covers form the cupboard. Clicking off the light he lay back and let the darkness soothe him.

"Sleep in his bed indeed! I'm only fucking human Daniel"

Jack landed with a thump on the floor, his hands flailing wildly at some imaginary assailant. It took a moment to re-orientate himself and be sure that he was really here and not in that stinking Iraqi prison. The soft woollen rug under his clenching fingers reassured him and he let his breathing settle.

God, it had been years since he had last had a dream like that. Snatches of it drifted at the edges of his consciousness, teasing him with flashes of clarity then dissipating like whips of smoke on a breeze. There had been pain, intense unbearable pain and then soothing hands and a voice saying that everything was ok. He could clearly recall the smell of stale sweat and urine that had become an everyday background aroma for nearly 4 months of his life. Four months he would never get back – four months he wanted to forget.

He struggled to his feet, hampered by the covers tangled round his body. He was swearing softly under his breath when he noticed Daniel framed in his bedroom doorway. The younger man straightened and stepped to the side, leaving room for Jack to pass if he wanted. The Colonel shook his head and made an attempt to sort out the tangled sheets but Daniel marched right up to him and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't be an ass Jack. It's a huge bed and you're really too tall for that couch. Its no wonder you fell off."

Jack sighed and relented. He didn't want to explain the nightmare and he did have a crick in his neck. Dimly he was aware that this was a very bad idea but he let Daniel lead him to the bed and pull back the sheet. Climbing in, he smiled weakly at his friend, remembering belatedly, that the voice in his dream had been Daniel's.

Daniel woke as the first golden rays of dawn speared through a small gap in the curtains. He stretched, groggily aware of the heavy weight draped across his chest before he even opened one eye. Jack's head was buried in his neck, his soft snores tickling Daniel's skin, one arm curved possessively across Daniel's body. Daniel's back cracking stretch only made the older man snuggle closer and he allowed the contact, revelling at how nice and natural it felt to be wearing Jack O'Neil like a blanket. They had fallen asleep balanced precariously at opposite sides of the huge bed, but somehow they had migrated towards each other during the night.

Both men were bare-chested, Daniel still wearing his PJ bottoms and Jack only boxers. It felt both strange and wonderful to be wrapped in Jack's arms but Daniel had no idea why he had suddenly begun to find himself so attracted to his friend. To be fair, Jack had never given any indication that he was even remotely interested in Daniel in that way. Apart from his attempt to fool his friend into thinking something inappropriate had happened the previous night, he had never laid a finger on Daniel.

As he lay half pinned beneath the older man, he replayed that incident in his head and began to get a little angry. Jack had given him a hell of a fright! It wasn't just the thought that he had acted inappropriately that gave him pause. The mental images he had been fighting back all day were even more disconcerting. Jack had forced him to face things he had hidden in his subconscious for years. Then without pause told him that it was all a huge joke. A joke that was most assuredly on him. His fingers began drumming on the mattress as he fumed silently at his own naivetι.

Jack stirred and threw a leg over Daniel's thigh, pulling him closer if that were possible. Daniel gasped at the feel of that rough, hair-sprinkled calf rubbing across his flesh. He wondered if Jack was aware of what he was doing. Probably not. He would be very embarrassed if he woke up now. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration hit, and Daniel smiled an evil little smile. He had just worked out how to get some of that sweet revenge.

He poked Jack sharply in the ribs until the older man finally grunted, and opened a bloodshot eye. He tried to roll away from the annoying finger onto his back but Daniel was right with him. He smiled shyly at his friend and gazed at him through long lashes. Leaning forward until he was pressed tightly against Jack's chest he let his free hand settle on Jack's hip.

The Colonel jerked back but Daniel curled strong fingers round the hip and pulled him closer. They were now pressed together from chest to kneecap and it was Jack's turn to gulp and stare. Daniel swallowed his whoop of triumph, licked his lips suggestively and leant so close that Jack could actually feel his heartbeat against his own rib cage.

"About the other night Jack – I've been thinking about it a lot..."

"And?" croaked the Colonel unsteadily.

"You shouldn't play with fire Jack – you might get burned." he purred against Jack's ear, then he moved the angle of his head and let his lips close on the sensitive juncture of Jack's throat and his shoulder.

He went for the full-on effect, sucking and biting the skin, trailing his tongue up the arching throat, only slightly aware of the gasp his friend let out. He had been aiming to shock, but had somehow managed only to shock himself with the urgency of his lips on Jack's burning skin. And somehow this didn't feel like the first time he'd done this either!

He heard Jack whisper his name with shaking breath but still his lips roamed higher, until he stopped at the corner of Jack's mouth. He realised that he was panting, his heart hammering in his ears loud enough to deafen him. He need only move a fraction of an inch and he would actually be kissing Jack. A few millimetres and things would never be the same again!

Two firm hands took his shoulders and propelled him slowly backwards across the bed. He felt strangely bereft as he forced his eyes open to meet the dazed eyes of his friend.

"OH-KAY Danny, I award this round to you! You win."

Jack rolled off the bed and staggered down the steps and out of the door. Daniel lay for a moment staring after his retreating back. What the hell just happened?

He had just tried to kiss Jack, and would have done it with great pleasure had Jack not stopped him. He had *wanted* to kiss Jack! Oh God how he had wanted it. And he was fairly sure that Jack had wanted it too! That wasn't what he'd intended when he'd come up with his revenge plan. He'd only wanted to scare Jack a little, not terrify himself in the process.

OhShitOhFuckOhGod! This was *not* happening. He tried to push the thought of Jack, head thrown back, whispering his name, out of his mind but the image was too powerfully erotic to ignore. He could feel himself getting hard and knew his face was burning with embarrassment. His own words echoed in his ears 'You shouldn't play with fire...you might get burned!'

Right now Daniel's was the one burning – his entire body was on fire. What had started off as a rather hazy revelation regarding his attraction to his best friend had just transmuted into a crystal clear epiphany that seared his skin with its intensity. He wanted Jack. And Jack now knew it! Even if Jack felt some of this, which he obviously didn't, he couldn't act on it. He was career Air Force and there were rules. Daniel knew he was nothing special – nothing worth risking a career over anyway.

No wonder he had bolted. There had to be a way to make this all right. Daniel couldn't lose Jack's friendship. He just couldn't! It just wasn't an option. His plan had backfired only because he had not seen the danger of getting up close and personal with a man he had steadily been falling in love with over the past few years without even being aware of it.

*Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! How could I not have noticed this? *

The sound of a shower being switched on roused Daniel from his dark thoughts. He lay on his back with one arm thrown over his face until a strange noise filtered up from the bathroom. Jack was singing so loudly that he didn't hear Daniel's bare-footed approach and nearly jumped out of his skin when the shower curtain was roughly pulled back. Daniel just stared.

Jack was more than a little surprised to see his friend standing there. He had been caught off guard with Daniel's obvious attempt to get some payback and had to cover his unexpected interest by making a dash for the sanctity of the shower. Obviously Daniel wasn't aware that the shower was a place of refuge! He stood there, Pjs slung low on his hips and chest heaving in what Jack assumed must be anger.

*He's pissed that I didn't react the way he expected. Well sorry Danny boy – you were about to get a reaction you *really* didn't expect! *

Out loud he said, "Jesus – can't a man take a shower in peace is this house?"

Turning his back on the angry archaeologist, he raised his arm high over his head, and continued to scrub a soapy sponge into his armpit and belt out a few lines of what could once have been Italian Opera before they had the misfortune to enter Jack's mouth. He hoped that Daniel would take the hint and leave but even over the sound of the water he could hear the younger man's harsh breathing.

Daniel jammed his balled up fists onto his hips, Now that he was actually here, his half formed plan to corner Jack into apologising was rapidly turning into the stupidest thing Daniel had done in – oh ten minutes at least! Holding desperately onto his anger he spat out,

"So it's OK for you to scare the shit out of me, but if I try the same thing on you, it's a fault?"

Jack glanced back over his shoulder and pantomimed being deaf due to excess water in the ear hole. Daniel stuck his head into the cubicle and shouted into Jack's ear, ignoring the water drenching his hair for his efforts.

"I said........you can deal it out but you sure can't take it."

Jack deliberately and slowly turned back round holding Daniel's accusing gaze with his own. It was more than obvious that Daniel was looking for an apology which, by the way, he was not going to get. Jack thought fast. There was always one way to shut Daniel up...

"That's *not* what you said Dr Jackson. I would expect more clarity and precision from a linguist."

He grabbed Daniel by the shoulders and hauled him completely into the shower cubicle, soaking his already damp flannel Pyjama bottoms. Daniel gasped in shock and looked down at the wet material clinging to his legs.

"Bastard!!!"

"If you insist on being in here, could you at least make yourself useful and scrub my back?"

Jack held out the soapy sponge hopefully but Daniel swatted it away and after fighting with the clingy shower curtain for a moment, managed to stagger out of the shower stall. He stood dripping and furious, angry with himself more than with Jack, for being stupid enough to try and call his bluff. He'd never had a decent poker face – and the Colonel was a past master!

Jack gratefully turned his back on his furious friend and waited patiently for fur to start flying. He had insulted Daniel and soaked him so now the younger man would be thinking about ways to get even instead of ways to make Jack get in touch with his feelings. Mission accomplished!

Daniel hauled off the pj bottoms and threw them with a satisfying splat into the bath then turned back to glare at Jack's soapy back, chest heaving with frustrated anger. Would he really step into the shower with Jack? Really call his bluff? His hands gripped the shower rail above his head as he watched Jack massaging shampoo into his hair, apparently oblivious to his continued presence.

He was attracted to Jack; there was no denying it, but he couldn't let his friend know. He thought he'd been successful in convincing Jack that what had just happened had been the result of two years worth of Shakespearian acting lessons, a legacy from his days at Oxford. Stepping into that shower would be suicide.

He tugged a towel from the pile and wrapped himself tightly in it as his eyes settled on the bath taps. Smiling insanely he reached for the hot tap. It took barely a moment for the shower to react by going frigid but Daniel was well out of the bathroom by then and heading for the bedroom at a dead run. He never made it!

A dripping Jack O'Neill tackled his friend in the hall and tickled the shit out of him until he was begging for mercy. Then Jack stole Daniel's towel for himself and swaggered into the bedroom leaving Daniel naked and gasping for breath on the floor. Once safely behind the closed door, Jack sagged against the wall. Trying to maintain a sense of buddy-buddy hilarity had been the most difficult thing he had ever had to do. Watching Daniel writhing about on the floor and gasping for breath was not exactly helping the Colonel forget his recent worrying impulses towards his friend. But at the end of the day, he had managed to get Daniel laughing. He might be coming to terms with the loss of his wife and Jack hoped that he had played a small part in that.

It could have been a lot worse. So they had stepped perilously close to crossing the line on a couple of occasions. That was acceptable to Jack. Daniel was very confused and still grieving over the loss of Sha're and Jack was, well, he wasn't sure why he had suddenly found his friend irresistibly attractive but he was sure it was nothing to get worried about. They were close, and neither of them had been socialising with the opposite sex for some time now. It was probably just a natural reaction to the stress of the situation.

Jack smiled again. Why the hell did the Air Force pay people like McKenzie huge salaries when all most guys needed was time inside their own heads. Jack was happy with his self-analysis, mostly because it didn't involve him admitting to some deep-seated hatred of his father and a weird attraction to his mother! Shrinks! Pah!

Well this was going to get nasty. The minute the villagers had realised that Teal'c was Jaffa, they had separated him from the others. Carter was next; Jack wasn't sure if it was because she still carried the trace of Jolinar or because she was female, but either way, he was getting very jumpy now that his team had been split. Eventually the smug self appointed bastard calling himself Premier Lutger arrived at their cell and informed him that the others had been sent back through the Chappa-ai and would not return. He and Daniel however would stay and take part in the 'ceremony.'

Now Jack freely admitted that he hadn't been paying that much attention to what Daniel had been droning on about when they got here, but one thing he did remember was that Daniel had been worried that their arrival had coincided with some big religious fertility ritual. Those things were *always* trouble. Jack stepped up to the bars and offered Lutger his most feral of smiles.

"I don't think so. My officers will be back and they WILL be bringing company. The sort of company you really don't want to meet. Now if you'll just....."

Lutger waved his hand and a couple of enormous guards materialised at his side. He pointed at Daniel in an offhand manner,

"Take this one to the stage and have him prepared. I will take the honour myself. You may amuse yourselves with the other one."

Jack tapped his chest and raised his eyebrow in a 'who me?' manner. The guards leered at him suggestively and unlocked the cage. Jack felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising. Prepared, honour, amuse. This was beginning to look really bad. He stepped casually between Daniel and the guards but locked eyes with Lutger.

"Hang on there sparky, what exactly are you gonna be doing to my buddy and me?"

"The ceremony of renewal calls for the spilling of seed into an untouched vessel. Your arrival, and the consequent battle, deprived us of both the Vessel and the Donor selected for the honour....."

Daniel peered round Jack's shoulder. This was what he had been worried about. The writing on the temple walls had been a little vague on details but the paintings on the walls had graphically supplied the missing information. If only they had approached the village from the road as Daniel had requested, none of this would have happened. They would have been welcomed as guests. But no – Jack had insisted on a more stealthy approach and they had been caught. The resulting firefight had been short but bloody and now they were in deep trouble.

"......so I have chosen another vessel."

Lutger glanced pointedly at Daniel. Jack cleared his throat as the full impact of what was about to happen finally hit him.

"And you see yourself as the err - donor?"

"Who else is there?"

Jack placed his balled up fists carefully on his hips and swaggered around the mountainous guard to stand before the Premier. He could see where this was going and no way was he letting the smug bastard get his slimy hands on Daniel.

"Well it was MY fault that you lost your A-Team."

"You offer yourself?"

The Premier sneered. He reached forwards and grabbed a handful of Jack's hair tugging sharply until Jack was forced to his knees. Then he bent down and stage-whispered into his ear,

"Neither of you are particularly appealing to me, however it may offer some amusement to watch your discomfort at the hands of one you consider a friend. I believe this would be just punishment. So be it!"

Jack prayed that Daniel would have the good sense to keep his mouth shut but of course it was a vain hope, dashed to the ground almost before it was fully formed.

"Excuse me err Jack? Do you have any idea what you are agreeing to?"

Jack tried to turn his head but the Premier kept his grip agonisingly firm.

"Of course he understands, you will perform the ceremony together or you will entertain us separately. It matters little. Either way, your sacrilege will not go unpunished. If you make proper amends, you will be freed. If you do not, you will die."

He let go of Jack's hair and swivelled round to sweep regally out of the cell. To the guards he added

"Bring them both."

Daniel couldn't meet Jack's eyes. He stared at his feet and hugged himself so tightly that he had to be cutting the circulation off to something.

"So how are we going to...erm...do this?"

Jack looked over to the stage strewn with silk cushions and watched as the natives laid out various items on it. He gulped and glanced back at the miserable archaeologist. Not only was it was looking increasing more unlikely that Carter and Teal'c would be doing the cavalry thing, it would also appear that their little performance was going to have an audience. He had to keep it light or Daniel would bolt. No way would that end well. At least this way they got to stay alive. He cleared his throat and tried for a tone that said mission briefing.

"How are you at massage?"

"Er ok I guess."

"Fine - so I lie face down and you give me a nice back rub. If I get relaxed enough, it shouldn't hurt too bad."

"Wait, you mean I'm going....."

Jack saw the rising panic in his friend's face and quickly began talking over the top of his protests. He had to make Daniel understand that this was non-negotiable.

"Use plenty of that oil. Do what you have to do to get yourself hard. That'll help too."

"Wait, wait, wait Jack. I don't want...."

Jack began pacing as he talked, three steps forward, turn, three steps back, turn.

"When you're ready, let me know and I'll get up onto my knees. Make it quick Danny. Don't worry about hurting me. Just get it over as quickly as you can Ok?"

"NO! No it's not ok. I don't understand."

Daniel stepped in front of him, halting him in his tracks. Jack glared at his friend and sighed. Why couldn't the man just do as he was told without questioning everything? Right here and now, Jack needed his co-operation more than ever before. He really didn't have time to spell it out to his friend. He could do this. Could Daniel?

"Look Danny – I'm having a real hard time with this. I doubt I could make these instructions any MORE graphic than I have. Slick yourself up with plenty oil and go for it!"

"Jack, have you done this before?"

Jack stared at his boots. He wondered if Danny would believe the lie he was contemplating. The truth had no place here. The truth would only hamper his attempts to make this easy on Daniel. If he could convince his friend that it wouldn't be an ordeal to him, then maybe they could get through this alive. Because one thing he knew for certain, if Daniel even suspected how Jack had received his insights into gay sex, he would refuse point blank to co-operate and that would get them both killed. He turned to watch the villagers make their final preparations and took a deep breath.

"Yeah. Long time ago. Don't really want to talk about it."

"I need to know Jack. You had a male lover?"

"Yes. Yes I did. It was before I joined the Air Force. So you see, this won't be a problem for me."

"Oh!"

Daniel looked more than a little shell-shocked. Obviously the thought that his Commanding Officer might have, in the past, been attracted to men was high on his list of 'things you never would have guessed'. Jack just hoped that when it came to the crunch, he would still be able to convince Daniel this was something he wanted to do.

"Don't sweat it Danny. It's a survival situation and it's only sex. We can get through this."

"Jack I can't do this. I wont!"

Suddenly the lights went down. The gauzy curtains around the stage had been pulled back and the village elders were taking their seats for the show. Jack shook Daniel slightly and forced him to meet his glittering black eyes.

"You have to. Look - I know how you feel but trust me, the thought of being fucked by you is far more appealing than being the meat in *their* sandwiches!"

Jack cocked his head in the direction of the two huge guards. Daniel followed his gesture and paled at what he saw.

"Here they come."

Premier Lutger approached, flanked by the guards. He stopped and raised his head to stare haughtily at Jack.

"Your decision?"

Jack's eyes met Daniel's pleadingly. The younger man took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wanted Jack desperately, but not like this! And yet what choice was there? He felt the guilt squeeze at his heart and his nod of acceptance was almost indiscernible.

"We'll do it you evil son of a bitch." Jack managed to grind out through clenched teeth. He imagined clamping his fingers round the cold bastard's throat and squeezing the life out of him slowly and satisfyingly.

The guards moved round to flank the two comrades as Lutger lead the way back to the stage. Once there, he held aside one of the curtains and gestured that they should enter. He followed them inside the little island of privacy and threw out his arm in a sweeping gesture, taking in all the paraphernalia laid out for them.

"You may use anything you need. There is wine here and fragrant oil here. Please proceed."

Jack expected to hear a drum roll, but as the curtains fluttered back down before him, there was only a hushed silence form the auditorium; like the moment before the diva begins to sing. Jack felt the tremors of fear begin to take him and immediately began undressing to focus his attention on something else. Outside the sheer curtains, the lighting was too low to be able to make out their audience, but Jack was sure the audience saw them clearly enough. Daniel watched him disrobe for a moment before slowly beginning to remove his own clothes. His hands felt too big and clumsy. Eventually he turned back to Jack, naked and terrified of what was to come. Jack didn't look much better.

"Jack....?"

"Shhh"

Jack reached out and cupped Daniel's trembling jaw for a moment before kneeling down and arranging the cushions to his liking. Finally he stretched out face down and used his arms as a pillow. Daniel located the bowl of oil and dipped both hands into it. He was surprised to find that the oil was warm and scented like spice. He rubbed his hands together and inhaled the fragrance. Jack turned his head and gave him a questioning look.

Daniel knelt down next to Jack, gently laying his slick, warm hands on the Colonel's tense shoulders. He had been taught how to do this by Sha're. She had often massaged his aching shoulders after a long hard day excavating the ruins of the cartouche room on Abydos. She had the ability to relax him so thoroughly that he would often fall sound asleep in her arms.

Jack had said it was better if the person was relaxed so he would do his best. He began with deep, sweeping strokes up the tanned and muscular back, then over the shoulders and finished by giving the neck a firm squeeze. Jack let out a small sigh. Oh good he was doing it right then. He continued this pattern until he felt Jack's muscles slowly relax. It was hard work and the heat in the airless room had sweat popping out on his forehead in minutes.

Daniel dipped his hands into the oil again but this time he brought a little of the tangy lubricant in cupped hands and dribbled it onto Jack's lower back. He heard the Colonel hiss and wondered if the oil was a little too warm. He began working it into Jack's skin, suddenly aware of how the flickering torchlight made the oily skin glisten. He rubbed up Jack's sides then down his spine, stopping just short of his ass. Daniel took a deep breath. He was going to have to do it eventually and Jack had almost begged him to get it over with quickly.

He scooped up some more oil and let it trickle though his fingers into the crack of Jacks ass. The colonel muttered something intelligible into his pillowing arms. Daniel placed both hands firmly on the buttocks before him and began to massage them firmly. He watched Jack closely for any signs of discomfort but Jack remained passive. If anything, he had gone even more boneless under Daniels gentle fingers. He began to believe that Jack had been telling the truth earlier, that perhaps Jack had done this before, and perhaps Daniel could stop worrying himself sick about what was happening.

He tried to remember what Jack had told him to do. He was supposed to be doing whatever it took to get hard. Daniel glanced down and was not in the slightest bit surprised that rubbing Jack's ass seemed to be all it took to get him hard! Just to be on the safe side, he reached over for more oil and gently slicked himself up. This was a new sensation and he couldn't help the little moan of pleasure that escaped his lips as his hot, slippery hand engulfed his cock.

Jack twisted his head around and tried to see what was going on. For the past ten minutes, he had been floating in a pool of sensation that quite frankly had him off balance. He was glad to be lying on his stomach, so that Daniel wouldn't see the effect his hands were having on him.

Since the first night he'd spent in Daniel's bed, Jack had been fighting the strange feelings he kept having with regards to his friend. What was about to happen terrified Jack O'Neill like no threat of torture could ever have done, and yet at the same time, he longed for this, for the feel of Daniel's hands on his skin.

He had tried to bury such thoughts, believed that he had succeeded and that he and Daniel were closer friends than ever and that that was enough for him. Friendship was all he really wanted, all he needed from Daniel. That kiss and the other breathless moments where he was sure that Daniel felt the passion too, had been a mistake, a glitch in their otherwise healthy relationship, a moment of weakness that could never happen again.

Except that right now, Daniel was kneeling at his side, one hand still firmly kneading Jack's buttock, the other sliding sinuously up his own erection and Jack's breath caught in his throat. The sight of Daniel pleasuring himself was so erotic that Jack had to fight the urge to begin rocking his hips in rhythm with Daniel's movements. His mind strayed again to the memory of that one kiss they had shared and his senses exploded as he closed his eyes tight.

"Daniel?" he managed to force out through clenched teeth.

Daniels eyes fluttered open and he nodded. Jack heaved himself up onto his hands and knees and let his head fall forward onto the cushions. He wouldn't cry out, he wouldn't give the bastards the satisfaction but he wanted to be able to bite down on something soft if necessary. Daniel moved around behind him and began massaging more oil into his ass. Jack could feel the warm slippery lubricant trickle down over his anus and he gasped as Daniel's hand followed its path, carefully rubbing the oil into his skin to make sure that this would be as painless as possible for his friend. Jack appreciated the gesture but God – he needed this to be over! Soon!

Daniel hesitated. Everything was ready and right there in front of him and yet he was missing something. He was almost rigid with terror at this point. No matter what Jack had said, he didn't want this any more than Daniel so therefore it was going to be non-consensual sex. Rape. He shuddered and pulled back.

"Jack....I can't."

Jack lifted his head from the cushions and Daniel saw that his arms were shaking.

"Dammit Daniel, we got *this* far! What's wrong now?"

"I'd rather die than do this to you Jack."

Jack could hear the despair in his friend's voice. Suddenly he understood. Daniel didn't do 'sex'. He 'made love' and only when his heart was involved. This was so wrong! And not because they were both men. They were about to take what should be a wonderful affirmation of love and turn it into something base and depraved. It shouldn't be like this. And godammit it wouldn't be!

Jack knew exactly what he had to do. He had to make Daniel believe that this was something he actually wanted; something that he had always wanted. Convincing Daniel wouldn't be easy, it was best to get him off balance quickly. He twisted round onto his back and hauled a surprised Daniel down on top of him. Shaking hands framed the archaeologist's face as he pulled him closer,

"I think I'll die if you don't."

Daniel gasped as he felt Jack's straining erection thrusting against his stomach. This gave Jack the perfect opportunity to kiss him, thrusting his tongue deep into the moist mouth. He knew then that he had been right. Daniel needed to see his eyes not the back of his head; he had to feel that this was something Jack *wanted* to do. The kiss deepened and Daniel began his own tentative exploration of Jack's mouth. Jack began to feel dizzy through oxygen deprivation and pulled back slightly.

"Daniel I want you so much it hurts."

He gasped between panting breaths. Daniel's eyes were dazed and the most vivid shade of blue Jack had ever seen. He was breathing erratically and Jack could hear his heart thumping against his own ribcage.

"Jack? Oh God Jack are you sure?"

"Oh yeah."

To illustrate his point, Jack thrust his hips hard against Daniel's making him gasp again. Daniel's head buried itself in his neck and he felt the other man's tongue sweep across his throat. He let his own head roll back onto the pillows and trailed his hands down over the taught shoulders, over the straining back muscles and down to the trembling ass. Daniel moaned deep in his throat and his whole body arched sinuously against Jack's when the older man sunk his fingers into his quivering flesh.

"Danny."

Daniel rolled slightly to one side and placed his palm flat against Jack's chest. Slowly, and without taking his eyes from Jack's, he slid the hand down over a taut nipple, heaving ribcage and straining stomach muscles. Carefully he avoided the groin area, letting the hand trail lazily down Jack's thigh and under his knee. Then he urged the knee to bend guiding Jack's leg to slide up the dais, his foot pressed firmly into the soft cushions. Then he twisted round and dipped his hand into the oil again, replacing it on the underside of Jack's knee and sliding it down his inside thigh. Jack's ass lifted clean off the floor at the erotic touch.

Daniel's hand continued its exploration of the silky smooth flesh, curving around Jack's scrotum and gently squeezing. Jack's eyes fluttered closed.

"God Daniel..........!" He whispered raggedly.

Then the hand continued up the velvet shaft from base to tip, pausing to run a thumb over the sensitive head. Jack's head lolled back and forth on the cushion, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He was losing it. How the hell had he ever thought he could keep himself under control when Daniel was doing such wicked things to him?

"Please.........!" he begged, unsure what he was asking for but needing it desperately anyway.

Daniel tightened his grip and began slowly moving his hand up and down, matching his rhythm to the motion of Jack's hips. Shifting again, he changed hands, moving the other back down to cup Jack's scrotum. His middle finger made contact with the tight ring between Jack's legs and suddenly Jack bucked into his hand. Daniel used a little more pressure and was rewarded with a string of guttural invectives gasped out between panting breaths.

There was no mistaking what Jack needed him to do. He took a deep breath and pushed his finger inside. Jack cried out and buried his hands in Daniel's hair. Gently, he withdrew the finger and let Jack relax back onto the cushions. Then he slid it back in again. Jack thrashed wildly about.

"Awww Jesus Danny............what the fuck are you doing to me?" Jack groaned, a thin film of sweat breaking out on his furrowed brow. Daniel withdrew and inserted two fingers this time making a small scissoring motion as he did. Even as a novice, he had worked out that some careful preparation would make this far easier on his friend and judging by Jack's reaction, it wasn't as unpleasant as it looked.

"CHRIST!"

Jack's eyes flew open and suddenly he was bucking furiously into Daniel's fist. His hands were clawing at the soft silk sheets convulsively as he moaned Daniel's name each time those long fingers stroked across his prostate.

"Danny....Danny.....fuck Danny.......Do it now!......Oh God!"

A bolt of desire ripped through Daniel's body at the harsh, guttural sounds coming from Jack's mouth, forcing every muscle to contract and surge towards the man lying helpless before him. He withdrew his shaking fingers and rolled Jack onto his back. His legs fell between Jack's trembling thighs and he nudged Jack's legs wider. Jack gasped and wrapped his long legs around Daniel's waist, pulling him closer until the tip of Daniels straining cock made contact with its target.

Daniel froze, teetering on the edge, holding back, terrified, his body shaking with the enormity of what he was about to do. Jack tugged at his hands, threading his fingers through Daniel's and raising them over their heads to rest on the pillows.

Glittering chocolate brown eyes met glacier blue ones for an endless moment of silent communication. Without speaking he gave permission, understanding, love. Daniel felt Jack move beneath him, gently gyrating his hips, and with one final searching look, he pushed forward.

Oh God! It felt like nothing Daniel had ever experienced as he slid slowly deeper, meeting extreme resistance to begin with, and then as Jack relaxed, he thumped forward and impacted against Jack's quivering body. Jack was tight and incredibly hot! It nearly blew the top of his head off. He forced his eyes open and looked right into Jack's soul. His eyes had gone almost black with desire and were half closed.

"Jack? Are you ok?"

"Jesus!" wheezed the colonel in a tight voice.

"Jack?"

"Jesus-Danny-don't-stop!"

Jack grabbed Daniel's ass and arched his back ramming his hips up to meet Daniel's second tentative thrust. Suddenly Daniel was buried to the root in Jack and his world was dissolving into a maelstrom of new and powerful sensations. They both gasped and clung to each other. Jack thrust again and Daniel saw stars. Another thrust and Daniel lost all hope of keeping the situation under control.

"Oh God I'm sorry Jack, Oh god...."

With a strangled cry, he surged into Jack again and again, sobbing against his throat as the tidal wave carried him higher and higher. He could hear the blood roaring in his ears, he was drowning in Jack, suffocating in the rising tide of passion until it smashed him senseless against the shore and receded wave by wave, leaving him spent, gasping for breath and slumped bonelessly across his trembling friend. Jack cried out his name, his entire body shaking violently as he came too.

Endless moments passed with neither of them moving, both trying to get their ragged breathing back under control. Eventually Daniel eased back and freed himself from Jack's vice-like grip. Jack groaned quietly at the loss of contact but lay quite still. A moment later Daniel's hand found the back of his head and urged him to sit up a bit. A cup was pressed against his lips and he took a sip of the potent wine gratefully. The back of his throat was rough and hoarse. Finally he managed to force one eye open. Daniel looked absolutely devastated.

"Jack. Please talk to me. Are you hurt?"

Jack opened his other eye and concentrated on getting his over-taxed muscles to co-operate with his desire to be sitting upright. Once that was achieved he cleared his throat. He wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't expected to feel this way. What had initially begun as a means of getting Daniel to co-operate at any cost and get this over quickly had backfired badly.

"I'm ok. A little stiff maybe. It's ok Daniel. You didn't hurt me."

Daniel frowned at him for a moment before taking the cup from his still shaking hands and downing the remainder of the wine. Jack laid his hand carefully on his friend's shoulder. "Are you telling me you didn't enjoy that?"

Daniel blushed to the roots of his hair. "I'm sorry."

"Danny – don't apologise. We did what we had to do. We survived. That's all that matters."

Suddenly the gauzy curtains were hauled aside and Premier Lutger tossed a couple of roughly woven robes at their feet.

"The ritual is over. You are free to return home. Do not come here again."

Then they were alone. Jack lifted a robe and dropped it gently over Daniel's head before covering himself up. He helped Daniel get shakily to his feet and steadied him when he would fall.

"Daniel, when we get back there'll be a physical exam. Janet is gonna know what happened. I also have to put it in my report. Will you be ok with this?"

Daniel went pale.

"Jack! Your career! Oh god...."

"Hey – Hammond isn't gonna turf me out because of this. It's not like were having a relationship – this was coerced. We did what we had to do to survive. Don't worry about it. Let me do the talking ok?"

Daniel took a deep breath and nodded. They stepped from behind the curtain into a room full and people who began to applaud loudly on their entrance. Daniel dropped his eyes to a point a foot in front of himself and hissed at Jack

"Get us out of here Jack"

"Sick bastards! Let's go."

PART FIVE

Jack lay quietly while Janet refastened the back of his surgical gown and stepped around the bed. The look on her face said it all. He rolled onto his back and immediately regretted it. Wincing, he favoured his left side again and tried to ignore the look of sympathy on Janet's face. Daniel had been as gentle as he could but even so, Jack would be wincing every time he sat down for a couple of days!

"What happened?"

Jack took a deep breath and rubbed his hands across his tired eyes.

"They gave us a choice. Entertain them or die. Daniel wanted to go for option two but I persuaded him otherwise."

Janet peeled off her latex gloves and threw them into a kidney bowl. She pulled up a seat and looked sympathetically into his eyes again.

"Well, the good news is that you were lucky. They did very little damage. Surprisingly Daniel showed no signs of........."

"They didn't do this. And Daniel wasn't... Daniel didn't........."

Jack trailed off into silence, dropping his embarrassed gaze from Dr Fraiser's concerned eyes.

"Colonel what exactly are you saying? That Daniel did this to you?" Janet frowned at her own words and shook her head in disbelief.

"Like I said, he would have preferred option two but I've been here before. I survived it once, I can do it again and I DON'T need to see McKenzie ok?"

"Sir, I'm afraid it's not that simple. You're telling me that they made you and Dr Jackson.....MATE.....to entertain them? Jack you are not the only victim here."

"Doc – We're both ok. We just need to get back to normal. It wasn't a big deal. And Daniel doesn't need to know a dammed thing about my past. In fact I insist on it."

Janet bit her lower lip and pulled over a clip pad.

"Really? Two heterosexual men are forced to have sex with each other in front of an audience and you think it's no biggie? I have to report this Sir. After I talk to Daniel, I'll decide if further intervention is necessary."

"Janet – it was a survival situation. We both did what we had to do."

"I'd also like to see a copy of your debrief to the General before I make that decision. Like it or not Colonel, you were both subjected to an extremely traumatic situation and there are likely to be repercussions. I won't certify you fit for duty until I'm sure you're both handling them."

She about turned and strode off leaving Jack fuming silently.

Daniel scrambled out of the chair he'd put outside the infirmary door when Janet came out. At first she didn't see him, so angry was she. He tentatively brushed his hand against her arm and she stopped walking.

"How's Jack?"

Janet sighed and took him by the arm leading him to her office where she shut the door before speaking

"He's fine. There was no real damage beyond a little inflammation. Daniel - why didn't you tell me about this when I was examining you?"

"Jack told me that he would do the talking. I guess he thought I'd be too embarrassed. God Janet I *tried* not to hurt him."

"Of course you did Daniel but neither of you could have been particularly relaxed, what with the audience and the little fact that you're both straight!"

Daniel dropped his gaze to the floor, unwilling to let Janet see the truth in his eyes. She obviously didn't know about Jack's past preferences and he wasn't about to enlighten her. He looked up when she continued speaking,

"Jack is of the opinion that you're both handling it and don't need any counselling?"

"He's right. It was a survival situation and we did what we had to do. No big deal."

"That's what he said. Forgive me but it sounds a little rehearsed."

Daniel didn't meet her eyes as he got up and began to pace the tiny office, his hands shoved deeply into his trouser pockets.

"I think we just need to re-establish the boundaries of our friendship, to prove that nothing has changed. It might take some time but I know it will be ok Janet. I promise, if I start to have problems, I'll come see you."

"Well I can't make that decision until I've read the Colonel's report."

General Hammond watched the play of emotions crossing Dr Fraiser's face as she read the report he had handed her. They were sitting in his office, him behind the desk, and her in front of it but her mind was far away. Jack had held nothing back. It was a surprisingly open and honest account of the events of P2X 3114. It would have been enough to turn the General's hair grey, if he had any! Janet let her breath out in a whoosh and dropped the report onto the desk. Hammond sat up a little straighter.

"Doctor?"

"Sir, I don't have words to describe how I'm feeling right now. Colonel O'Neill – volunteered himself for this despite having being brutally raped years before. Why?"

General Hammond sighed and retrieved the report, carefully closing it and placing it in his top drawer.

"I can only assume that it was to spare Doctor Jackson the same fate. The question is – how has it affected Jack?"

"General, the sort of man that makes a good Special Forces soldier usually has a dark side most of us would find appalling but Jack somehow manages to keep it under control. One day he really is going to snap."

"But not today?"

Janet took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders. She knew Jack could deal with this. She'd read his medical files and especially the ones pertaining to his previous incarceration in Iraq. He was resilient and well adjusted enough to cope with this on his own. Bringing Mackenzie in would be counterproductive in Jack's case. Daniel she wasn't so sure about. He had been through so many traumas already this year....

"There's nothing physically wrong with either of them. Mentally, I think they need to rely on each other. They were very close before this happened. I think they can keep it in perspective. Daniel has promised that he'll come to me if he experiences problems. The Colonel would never admit to having problems so we just have to keep an eye on him and he's told me that he does not want Dr Jackson to know about what happened to him before."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Sir I would be breaching patient/doctor confidentiality if I told Daniel but even if I could, I think it would only cause more damage. Colonel O'Neill did the right thing by Daniel and I feel he can cope with this himself."

"So you're going to recommend they be certified fit for duty?"

"Yes sir."

"Agreed. I'll bury this report as deep as I can and let the boys work it out for themselves. Thank you doctor."

Jack leaned heavily against the doorframe and took a deep breath. The key to his house was stubbornly refusing to turn in the lock. He tried again and this time the door swung open. He kicked it shut with his foot and peeled off his jacket letting it drop to the floor as he headed for the bathroom. He stripped off the rest of his clothes as he turned on the shower and got it to the right temperature.

He wanted to get rid of the spicy smell left on his skin by the massage oil. He told himself that it was all about getting rid of the greasy residue and not about scrubbing his soul clean like he had been compelled to do after his prolonged stay in prison. He had taken several showers a day for weeks after and still never quite managed to feel clean. But this time it was different. He told himself he didn't feel violated. He didn't feel dirty.

As he stepped under the needle hot spray and let the water drill into his scalp, he finally allowed himself to remember. He'd tried to convince Daniel that he actually *wanted* what had happened. He had harboured serious doubts that Daniel would buy into it. He was a good liar; a great liar, but Daniel knew him too well. And yet he had gone along with it, given himself over to the passion, opened himself up to Jack, exposed his vulnerability. Trusted Jack to take care of him.

And Jack had trusted Daniel too.

There had never been any doubt in Jack's mind that his friend would be careful. He hadn't bargained on him being so fucking amazing! Hadn't bargained on getting hard every time he had a flashback, every time he remembered Danny cry out his name, every time he recalled the touch of slippery hands caressing his flushed skin, lips pressed against his throat, eyes the colour of a summer sky huge and dazed with desire.

For him!

He groaned and leaned his fever hot brow against the cool shower tiles. The water stung his back and drummed against his kidneys uncomfortably but he couldn't find the strength to stand upright. Oh why had he ever thought he could do this? Sometimes the quagmire that was his subconscious mind kept secrets from him. Hid things. Like the fact that almost from the moment he had met the skinny, over-animated, way-too-clever, painfully shy geek that was Daniel Jackson, he had fallen hopelessly in love.

Of course his conscious mind would never have accepted that so it had been hidden behind paler imitations like brotherhood, paternal affiliation, friendship. Every time he had taken the first faltering step towards self-enlightenment, his subconscious had slammed him back. Until finally, a few weeks ago, his beautiful and totally inebriated archaeologist had kissed him! And then light had begun to dawn.

Lying flat on his back with his legs in the air surrounded by a hoard of salivating villagers, his subconscious had finally gone on vacation and the shining truth had presented itself, paraded itself across the contorted and sweat drenched face of the man he had once thought of only as a brother, a son, a friend, Daniel!

*Oh God Daniel. How am I ever going to face you again? *

It had been Jack's intention to explain to Daniel once they were safely home, that he'd lied. That he only wanted to get the whole thing over and done with and that he was sorry. That he hoped Daniel could understand and forgive him. But now he knew why Daniel had bought the lie.

Because it wasn't a fucking lie at all!

He *had * wanted Daniel so badly that it hurt. It had hurt for years. His denial had smouldered away, never being allowed to flare. But never quite extinguished either.

Jack reached for the shower gel and shakily removed the top. The lid slipped through his trembling fingers and bounced on the tiled floor. Jack ignored it and squeezed out the gel into his hand. For a moment he stared at the pine scented green gloop. He wanted to get clean but somehow he was hesitant. Shaking his head angrily he rubbed his hands together and began soaping himself. His knees went weak at the feel of slippery hands caressing his flushed skin.

Suddenly he was back on P2X 3114, his hands were entwined with Daniel's, their bodies pressed tightly together, his legs wrapped round Daniel's waist and Daniel was looking at him searchingly, asking for permission; asking for understanding; asking for forgiveness. And he had given it. He would have given anything at that moment just to feel Daniel inside him. He ached for it. He wanted it. He needed it.

And then Daniel had moved.

Jack's knees gave up and he slid down the shower wall oblivious to the water's insistent drumming against his sensitised skin. His hand went without conscious thought to his painfully erect cock and clamped around it without mercy. He remembered how Daniel's face had opened up with surprise as he made that first tentative thrust into Jack's body. Then his eyes had fluttered closed and Jack had almost died when he'd stopped to ask Jack if he was ok!

Words had been almost beyond him then. That first gentle push had not gone nearly deep enough to satisfy the burning need roaring in his ears. He had grabbed Daniel by the hips and pushed up to meet the next thrust, impaling himself on Daniel. Oh God it had felt incredible!

Then finally Daniel had surrendered to the mounting riptide of desire sweeping them away. His hoarsely cried out apology, Jack knew, was as much for his obvious arousal as for his inability to keep control of the situation. Jack remembered the feel of Daniel's body surging into his over and over again and the sounds of bewildered pleasure made by the other man as he was carried over the edge, and he bucked uncontrollably into his own hand.

A moment later he sunk back down into his body and became aware that the shower was now running cold. He rolled out of the cubicle, onto the bathroom floor and groped for a bath towel.

*Oh God – what am I going to do about THIS?*

Daniel was drunk again. He had stopped off at a liquor store on the way home and bought the biggest bottle of whiskey he could find. Back at his apartment he cut straight to the chase, filling a large crystal whiskey glass almost to the brim and forcing it down in several choking gulps. Daniel was not a whiskey drinker. By the time the glass was empty, tears were tracking down his face and not just because of the alcohol fumes.

"I survived!"

He raised the empty glass to no one in particular and then filled it again. This time he added an ice cube and watched it bob in the amber liquid for a moment before downing the alcohol.

"I did what I had to do."

He reached unsteadily for the bottle and filled it for a third time. His throat was burning and his stomach was on fire but he threw the glass back and dissolved into a coughing fit.

"And I fucking survived!"

He felt the potent alcohol burn a trail down his tortured throat and revelled in the painful sensation. He deserved to suffer. He'd let his need overwhelm him and done something terrible to Jack. Daniel wasn't naοve – despite what he said, Jack had never even looked at another man in his life. That had been obvious to Daniel the moment he'd pushed inside, when he couldn't do a dammed thing about it, when it was too fucking late. Jack had been trying to make things easier on his friend and Daniel had allowed himself to believe the convenient lie in order to have Jack.

He was a bad person. A really selfish person. How could he have done that to his friend? How could he have.....?

The sound of his phone ringing insistently halted his half-hearted swipe for the bottle and he stared at it accusingly. Why was the phone ringing? It was the middle of the night! Daniel got unsteadily to his feet and staggered over to the offending object. He made a grab for the receiver and knocked the phone onto the floor. He found this absurdly funny. Falling to his knees he fumbled the phone up to his ear and giggled,

"H'lew s'vivors 'nonymous!"

//Daniel?//

Daniel stared at the receiver in shock. Jack was the *last* person he expected to hear from right now. The receiver squeaked at him again until he finally managed to get it turned around the right way.

//Daniel are you drunk?// the Colonel's voice accused.

Daniel smiled and made another swipe for the whiskey bottle. He held it up to the light and watched the contents swirl hypnotically. Almost half gone already.

"Yeah, yeah I am. Feeling really great now thanks f'r'asking."

Jack began a long lecture on Daniel's low tolerance to alcohol and other boring stuff so Daniel carefully placed the receiver on the floor and poured another liberal glass full. This time, the amber liquid sloshed over the edge and some dripped onto the phone. Daniel leaned over it, ass wiggling wildly in the air, and licked the whiskey off.

//...you should try making some strong....Daniel? What the hell was that slurping noise?//

"M'licking the phone."

//You were...what? Why?//

Daniel noisily slurped at the mouthpiece again then dissolved into fits of giggles. He rolled about on the carpet getting more and more tangled in the phone line. Eventually he managed to get the phone back up to his ear, but the voice had been replaced by a high-pitched whine.

"Jaaaack? The BAStard hung up on me! How d'ya like that?"

Daniel gulped down half the glass of whiskey and made another heartfelt but silent toast.

"I fucked my friend and fucked our friendship but I survived!"

Then he tried to get up, failed, drank some more, tried to get up again and finally just gave up and lay back down on the floor. The fire he had lit in the grate earlier, combined with the potent alcohol he had consumed made him drowsy and within moments he was asleep. And that's how Jack found him an hour later when he let himself in with Daniel's spare key.

"You have a go."

Hammond stood and everyone at the table followed suit. Jack welcomed the mission. It allowed him to focus on his job and forget another night spent caring for an inebriated and incoherent archaeologist, another night holding him through the worst of his nightmares then slipping away as the first rays of sunlight peeped through the curtains. Daniel had never even known he'd been there.

Jack stood and watched as his team filed out and headed towards the gear-up room. He was relieved that Janet had proclaimed them both fit for duty, and more than relieved that Hammond hadn't seen fit to call him in for a little chat regarding the event on P4X345. He doubted that he could have sat though that. It appeared that Hammond had felt his report contained enough information without making the two men live though it all again and for that, he was grateful.

He had also decided to leave it up to the Colonel how much information regarding those events he wished to disclose to the other two members of the team. He should really have asked Danny what he wanted to do but Jack couldn't bring himself to discuss what had happened.

Jack had the ability to partition his mind. Already the events on the planet had been suppressed, filed away in a dark corner never to see the light of day again if at all humanly possible. This mission was a bonus for him, a welcome distraction, but he wondered if Daniel was ready to see action again this soon after their ordeal. Daniel was resilient and one of the bravest sons-of-bitches Jack had ever met but last night he had been close to the edge.

Jack felt more than a little responsible for Daniel's state of mind. He knew that he hadn't been a great deal of help to his friend since they came home. When Janet had left to go in search of Hammond, Jack had taken the opportunity to get the hell out of the infirmary. He had spent the next few hours avoiding Daniel, no easy task in a complex as small as Cheyenne Mountain, but he couldn't bear the thought of having to talk to his friend.

The situation had gotten complicated beyond his ability to understand. There were too many lies. He had lied to Daniel to get him to co-operate, made him believe that he desperately wanted Daniel to have sex with him. Then he had lied to himself, telling himself that he was reacting to a survival situation in the only way possible. The first lie was to protect Daniel and the second to protect himself but now he would have to lie again to protect both of them.

He would have to pretend that what had happened between them had actually meant nothing to him. Daniel wasn't interested in perusing a relationship with him, which was why he had tried to keep it light, tried to convince his best friend that casual sex with a man was no big deal to Jack O'Neill. But it was a big deal – a big honkin' deal.

He loved Daniel. Always had if he were honest, and probably always would. It wasn't exactly an epiphany. They had been friends for years and had gradually slipped into that 'old married couple' routine without them even noticing. They were comfortable around each other, wore each other like slippers. The way his body had reacted in the shower when he remembered Daniel's gentle touch was new and powerful and somehow, Jack now realised, long overdue.

How did Daniel feel about Jack? He was sure that Daniel cared a great deal about him and that he worked hard to maintain their friendship; harder than Jack ever had if the truth be told. He was willing to believe that Daniel probably loved him in an 'annoyingly-overprotective-but-soft-beneath-the-surface-commanding-officer' sort of way but despite Jack's growing inability to control the sexual tension buzzing in the air every time Daniel came near him, the archaeologist appeared to be completely oblivious to that.

Granted there had been the one 'kissing' incident which Jack put down to grief and booze, and the thing the next day when Daniel had tried to play along with Jack's sick and ill-advised game of 'we know what you did last night', but apart from those two easily explained incidents, Daniel hadn't showed even a glimmer of interest in his CO. What had happened on P4Xwhatever was more of a nightmare than a dream come true. Sure, he'd loved every bone jarring, knee bucking moment of the sex, but he had tried to focus on how they were going to get through the aftermath, how he was going to get his friend over this. And when it came to the crunch, when it came to the moment he had to face Daniel, he'd choked.

So he had taken the cowards way out and snuck out of the mountain at the first opportunity, knowing that he should go in search of his friend and let him off the hook, but unable to face saying the words. Danny I lied, I'm not attracted to you at all so can we just forget all this and go back to being friends?

He had felt really crap about that all evening. Then finally, unable to sleep and wracked with guilt and self-loathing, he had called his friends only to discover that while he'd been jerking off in the shower, his friend had taken refuge in the bottle again. This was not a road he wanted to see Daniel walk down. He'd been there – done that – bought the T-shirt proclaiming 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am'. He felt like a complete shit for letting this happen again. If he had just had the courage to talk it through with his friend like he had promised Janet he would. But if wishes were horses...!

And so he had gone to Daniel, offered what comfort he could, been the good friend that he should have been content to be. He had woken just after dawn and managed to slip out unnoticed, driving home to take a shower and get changed before heading back to the Mountain.

By the time he got there, Daniel was already on his third cup of coffee and looked like shit. Hangover of the century there. They waited in the briefing room for the others to show up and a few carefully phrased questions confirmed to Jack that his friend had no memory of his nocturnal visit.

Jack arrived at the gear-up room and watched his friend carefully as he made his own preparations. Check all pockets to see that they were provisioned, check canteen for fresh water, and check gun safety is on and spare ammo is stowed, check radio was set to correct frequency and working. He did these things on autopilot these days. Jack's averted his gaze when Daniel's eyes suddenly sought out his.

Damn – this is bad. I can't even look him in the eye!

Daniel sighed when his attempt to draw Jack's attention was ignored. He had been trying all morning to get Jack to look at him but the older man was obviously deeply humiliated by the events of the day before. Daniel wanted a chance to apologise, for what little good it would do – hell he wanted the chance to beg for forgiveness, to go down on his knees and plead with his friend to put aside his horror and just....just be his friend again. He couldn't blame Jack for feeling this way. They may both have survived but at what cost?

Jack had done a noble and selfless thing, he'd made a great personal sacrifice and Daniel had let him. It didn't take a genius to see that Jack was struggling with the consequences of his decision. And in a twisted way, Daniel was hurt by that. He knew that it was selfish and he knew that it was stupid but he really wished Jack could be his, that the fantasy was real. However his friend couldn't even look him in the eye. Sighing, he stepped through the gate and tried to put it all aside to concentrate on the mission

Jack was having real problems warming up to Ke'ra. She presented the image of a perfect, beautiful, highly intelligent young woman who dedicated herself to the welfare of her people but something just wasn't right. He couldn't put his finger on it but his instincts had saved his life many a time before and he wasn't about to ignore them now.

He and Teal'c came into the library to find Daniel sitting at a table with her discussing scientific stuff about some chemical like DDT and trying to find explanations as to why there were no children or elders amongst the population. He flopped down at another table. Carter was already pouring over the old dusty books and Jack very quickly got bored. He listened with half an ear to the contestation between his friend and the too-good-to-be-true blonde.

He looked up in time to see something amazing happening. Daniel was smiling and batting his eyelashes and the blonde was melting! Jack could count on one hand how many times he'd seen his friends face light up like that and still have fingers left over. She giggled like a schoolgirl as Daniel blatantly flirted with her. Jack strained to hear what he was saying.

....because if you saw disaster coming....(big smile, bat eyelashes),.....you would have left yourselves a note?......(giggle, giggle)........to whom it might concern......(wiggle eyebrows).........kinda thing?

Jack cast his friend an acid glare. He was fucking flirting with a woman that was clearly bad news barely a month after his wife was killed and fucking enjoying it, the bastard! Jack's eyes narrowed until Daniel and Ke'ra were his entire focus. He quickly averted his gaze and tried to look interested in the pile of books in front of him.

"Sir?"

Carter's concerned voice brought him back to the here and now.

Carter raised her eyebrows questioningly. Damn, caught him staring into space! He thought fast and came up with something plausible. He told her how the whole amnesia thing wasn't working for him. This sparked a whole new debate between Carter and Teal'c on how SG1 was responsible for letting Linea escape allowing Jack to continue his surveillance, albeit a little more covertly this time.

After Doc Frasier suggested that the volunteers could come back to the SGC, all Jack wanted to do was get the hell out of there. He announced to anyone that was listening, his intention to go back and brief Hammond.

He was fuming with anger at the way Daniel was acting towards the woman, and couldn't help but stare as Daniel placed a gentle hand on her back as he guided her out of the room. He could barely drag his eyes away even when he knew Carter was staring at him. The hand stayed where it was as they walked.

Jack reported to Hammond and waited patiently for the rest of his team to put in an appearance. There was little for him to do on a scientific mission like this one. Carter and Daniel were in their element, and Teal'c, although a trained and proficient warrior, was also a consummate observer. Very little went on that got past Teal'c. Jack was not so good at sitting back and letting the others kids play nice. Perhaps it was this forced inactivity that had his 'spidey sense' all tingle over Ke'ra but somehow he doubted it.

To give Fraiser some peace, Daniel offered to take their visitors on a tour of the base. Before too long he had off loaded the pair that argued like an old married couple and was alone with Ke'ra. She was pleasant company, and so similar to Daniel in temperament and enthusiasm that it took his breath away. She had endless questions, in that at least she reminded him more of Sha're than himself. He felt a pang of grief at that thought and hastily crushed it back. There was a time to mourn and it wasn't in the middle of a mission.

Eventually they arrived at the VIP guest quarters assigned to Ke'ra and Daniel pushed open the door. Once inside he carefully closed the door and began talking about the biggest load of rubbish to hide his nervousness. It had not escaped the archaeologist's notice that Ke'ra was attracted to him. He had gone out of his way to encourage her too.

He wasn't quite sure why he had done that. Certainly she was very attractive, and intelligent enough to hold her own against Daniel in debate. She had vulnerability about her too that brought out his protective instincts. But he wondered if he were really attracted to her or if he was just trying to prove to himself that he wasn't attracted to Jack. Either way, he was playing a dangerous game here and someone was going to get hurt.

Jack had been staring at them constantly when they were on the planet and it had sent little thrills of excitement down his spine to think that Jack might actually be jealous. He had flirted even more overtly once he noticed Jack's angry regard. Now he was about to face the consequences of that. Ke'ra was standing way inside his personal space, head tilted back invitingly, eyes sparkling and then she was kissing him.

He closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the feel of the soft lips on his but it was Jack he saw in his minds eye, Jack's hands he felt clutching at his shirt. His heart began to hammer erratically as his mind slipped back to the events on P2X 3114. When she pulled away, the breath he had been holding in escaped his parted lips in a whoosh.

She apologised and tried to explain why she had done it but Daniel just wanted her to be quiet – to stop talking, because when she spoke, the spell was broken and his Jack fantasy dissipated. He leaned in, and taking her face in his hands, he kissed her back, uncaring that he was using her, unheeding of the potential backlash for doing this, only wanting to feel again; to experience; to need; to want; to love.

Then suddenly he froze, all the doubts and fears washed over him, drowning him in their intensity. He couldn't make love to this woman, this stranger. No matter how drawn he was to her, no matter how beautiful or intelligent she was, she could never be what he really wanted. If he couldn't have Jack, then he would have no one because it wasn't fair to let someone think you loved him or her when in reality your heart belonged to someone else.

He loved Jack.

Oh God - he was IN love with Jack. He jerked backwards, fighting to get his breath back. Ke'ra frowned at him as sat next to him on the covers. Daniel turned and faced her as bravely as he could, "I'm sorry Ke'ra, I can't do this. I thought I could but....."

"You are not yet over the death of your wife?"

If she wanted to believe that, he would be happy to let her. It wasn't too far from the truth, Sha're's death still induced nightmares that had him waking in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, tears streaking down his cheeks. But as he had begun to explain earlier, he had lost his wife years before her death. It hurt, but not as much as it had the day Apophis had taken her.

It felt like a betrayal to use his wife as an excuse but at the moment, he could think of no other out. He smiled weakly and nodded.

"I'm sorry."

She squeezed his hand and smiled reassuringly up at him. Daniel had never felt like a bastard in his entire life and found he really didn't like the feeling.

*Another thing I've picked up from the Jack O'Neill school of charm* he though bitterly as he stood to leave.

In the briefing room, Jack observed Daniel grow angrier and angrier. Surely he must have worked out by now who Ke'ra was but he was refusing to accept it. Jack watched as his friend paced about the room, unwilling to sit down and breaching all the rules of military protocol in the process. Luckily Hammond had never been a stickler for such things and he allowed the archaeologist to pace. Finally Daniel turned on Jack, his eyes sparking defiant.

"Let me ask you a question, who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world....."

Jack gazed back and wondered what Daniel would say if he said – you Daniel,

"....Don't worry I won't be offended if you don't pick me. Could it be Teal'c?"

Jack glowered up at his friend from the cover of thick brows then glanced at the Jaffa,

"Sure."

Teal'c gave him a solemn nod of thanks for his less that resounding vote of confidence. Daniel had the air of a lawyer watching a hostile witness fall into his trap under cross examination. Jack was way ahead of him but did nothing, recognising his friend's need to vent.

"....er Teal'c just refresh my memory – what was your previous occupation?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and dragged his gaze from the gunmetal grey wall straight ahead of him to look unflinchingly at Daniel.

"I was First Prime of Apophis."

"Right....did a few nasty things back then?"

Jack's eyes narrowed angrily. Ok so Daniel wanted to protect the Destroyer of Worlds because he was trying to get into her pants, this he could just about understand, but doing it at the expense of another team member was going a little too far and Jack wasn't willing to let that go not even for Daniel. He interrupted smoothly,

"We see the subtle point you're trying to make...."

"No you don't!" Daniel fixed steely blue eyes on his friend and dared him to find a flaw in his carefully thought out defence.

"She is not the same person. She is NOT who she used to be. Let's not condemn her for who she may have been in the past," and he cast a significant glance Teal'c's way again.

Jack wasn't sure what else he could say to convince Daniel that this woman was dangerous to him, to all of them. He could see the attraction Daniel was feeling and wished like hell it wasn't so obvious that his friend wanted the fucking bitch! Whoa – ok calm down O'Neill. He tried to remind himself that Daniel was, and always would be, straight. What had happened on the planet was not Daniel's choice and would never be repeated.

Luckily Hammond caught the conversational ball,

"I think it would be prudent to keep her confined to her quarters until we can resolve the Vians medical crisis. Colonel O'Neill, perhaps you could inform...."

"I'll inform her." Daniel snapped and stormed out of the briefing room without being dismissed. An Airman could have been brought up on charges for less. Jack shook his head and sighed deeply as he slowly got to his feet. As Daniel's CO, it was his responsibility to chew him out for this, but instead of following the younger man, Jack locked himself in his office and banged his head on his desk.

Things were not going well. Right now he and Danny should have been working hard on restoring the boundaries of their friendship instead of venting at each other and, in Danny's case, drooling over a piece of skirt. When Sara had left him, it had taken Jack nearly 8 months to try dating again, but Sha're was gone only a month and Daniel was....gagging for it seemed appropriate. Not that it was really any of his business. Wasn't like he owned the archaeologist or anything. Damn!

Daniel headed straight for Ke'ra's quarters. He was aware of how cold he was acting as he tried to explain to Ke'ra how little she was trusted. He felt his words impact against the defensive wall she was throwing up and inside he screamed at the injustice of it. He couldn't have Jack, he couldn't have Sha're, he couldn't have Ke'ra. But worse than the prospect of being alone for the rest of his life, was the prospect of turning into the cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch he was acting like now.

He was being professional, getting the job done, trying to maintain an emotional distance, even after the passionate embrace they had shared. He was getting good at ignoring his feelings and focusing on his mission. If he wasn't careful, he was going to turn into Jack O'fuckingNeill!

When the door closed behind him, and he stood in the corridor trying to get his emotions back under control, he realised that they were probably right. He couldn't deny it any longer, Ke'ra was Linea. The team had allowed her to escape, she had caused another planetary disaster to happen and it was their fault. What the hell were they doing out there? Lately it seemed to Daniel like they did more harm than good.

The Stargate Project had been his life for so long and the team his surrogate family that he had been prepared to put his high moral standards on hold in order to be part of it. The search for his wife was over now, and despite her request that he find the child, her child, his heart was no longer in it. He was only now beginning to feel a measure of the frustration that would be an everyday part of his life if he continued to orbit Jack's bright sun. Could he do it? Could he spend his days gazing at something he had tasted once and never have again? He shook his head and marched off up the corridor, determined that before the day was over, he and Jack were going to discuss this!

The first test had failed even with Ke'ra's help. Jack wasn't really surprised. He was watching the unfolding events from a security monitor in the observation room. There was a cold and detached look on her face that sent a shiver right down his spine. He was glad that Orner had survived; not many people could make that claim when this bitch got her hands on them. She was escorted back to her room and Jack felt like he could breathe again.

Daniel accompanied her back to her quarters, but couldn't keep up the detached coldness in the face of Ke'ra's obvious distress. Right now, she had none of Linea's memories and was distraught at the thought she could be this mass murderer they all seemed to think she was. He could see her valiantly trying to control the horror she was being crushed beneath. Daniel's mind flashed back to the day they had sent Apophis' dead body through the Stargate to his enemy Sokar. The host had emerged for a time and been traumatised by what he had done in the name of the Goa'uld that possessed him. Ke'ra had a similar look in her eyes and as with Apophis host, Daniel found himself feeling truly sorry for her. He relented, and pulled her into his arms, his embrace meant only to reassure.

Finally she pulled back and smiled weakly at him, "Daniel you have been very kind. You should go to your friends now. I will sleep for a while until it is time for the next stage of the tests. Please do not worry about me."

That sounded remarkably like Daniel's 'I'm fine' speech only a little more long winded. He sighed and kissed the top of her head before leaving. Outside in the corridor he saw Jack leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for him to emerge.

"Hey. Heard the test didn't go too well?"

The look in his friend's eyes was complicated but Daniel thought he could read anger mixed with a little concern. Either way, he didn't want to hear it right now and kept on walking.

"She'll figure it out."

Jack sucked his front teeth and followed on behind. He didn't want to be having this conversation with his friend but who else would have the balls to point out the obvious if not him? Taking a deep breath, he launched into his carefully prepared speech.

"Listen, I'm not saying that the first woman you've fallen for since Sha're isn't a peach....."

Daniel stopped walking and felt his hands clench into fists at his sides.

*Keep talking O'Neill and you are so gonna get it!*

"....but if she remembers who she is – you'll be the first to go."

And it was true. He knew it. Jack was a trained and professional soldier who had identified Ke'ra as a clear and present danger from the word go. Daniel should have seen it too but he was too busy coming on to the first female he saw in a ridiculous attempt to bury his feelings for his CO. The fight left him. He didn't trust himself to talk so he walked away. Jack watched him go then turned sadly and headed back towards the lab.

Jack perched on a high stool in the corner of the lab, his eyes glued to the blonde woman's every move. Not that he didn't trust her, he didn't. But there were several other sets of eyes watching her for that reason. He was focusing on what the fuck she had that set Danny's tail wagging. She was nice enough to look at if you went for fragile and soft, which Jack didn't. She looked like a stiff breeze would blow her away. Sha're had been strong and feisty, almost a mirror image of this waiflike woman. Perhaps Daniel didn't have a specific type to which he was attracted. The only common factor Jack could see in the woman Daniel had gone for was intelligence.

He shook his head when he realised that he'd drifted off into dream world again as they began to administer the second antidote to Orner. This time, the concoction worked and Orner recovered with his memories intact. When he told Ke'ra she must take the cure, she acted upset and fled to the door of the lab where Jack and Teal'c were standing. Anticipating her move, Jack opened the door for her, making little attempt to move out of the way, aware that his 6 foot 2 frame would be intimidating to the tiny woman, but not caring a bit.

He stared at the top of her head as she passed then up into cold blue eyes. Daniel tapped Teal'c lightly on the shoulder, expressing his desire to be allowed to accompany Ke'ra to her quarters without his self appointed body guard. Jack wasn't happy about it, but if he wanted to emerge from this mission still on speaking terms with Daniel, he had to give him some degree of trust and respect. Once minute nod of his head, and Teal'c remained where he was, allowing Daniel to squeeze between his friends and follow the blonde up the corridor. Jack chewed his bottom lip and sighed deeply. He was going to have to talk to Daniel soon.

When Ke'ra was safely back in her room, Jack hovered in the lab feeling restless and bored. He was being more of a hindrance here, but he wanted to keep up on what was happening and he had to stay away from Daniel right now. They had to talk soon, but the threat posed to the whole of the SGC by that one petite blonde was more important than any problems he and Danny were facing right now. He was aware of the concerned glanced being thrown his way by Doc Frasier. She didn't like what she was seeing but was professional enough to focus on the larger danger.

He was just about to go in search of some coffee when the doc stopped him with words that turned his heart to ice.

"Colonel, a vial and an ampoule are missing!"

His mind made the connection at the very same time as Teal'c's did. A moment later they were pounding down the corridor towards the guest quarters. Jack didn't waste time with the handle, his foot slammed into the door, nearly ripping it off its hinges and allowing him to get a clear line of sight on his target. The gun snapped up and he felt his finger tighten on the trigger but Daniel was in the way, his hand raised, his body blocking Jack's shot.

"Step aside Daniel" he managed to bark.

"Don't! There's another way Jack."

"MOVE!" he croaked, praying that he wouldn't have to take Danny out to get to Linea, for she clearly was Linea now. Her memories were all intact.

*Please Danny don't make me shoot you. You have to know I'll do it*.

But Daniel was talking again, his tone gentle and persuasive. Jack hesitated, his finger twitching on the trigger, his mind racing though all the possible endings to this scenario which all featured a lot of blood. She was backing up to the wall, her lips pulled back over her teeth and a look of pure loathing in her eyes.

"I'm not her!" she screamed at Daniel but he kept up the gentle stream of words, advancing slowly on her as he spoke. Then a miracle happened. Daniel actually got through to her. She let the hands which gripped the two vials drop and his friend gently retrieved them. Without taking his eyes off her, he held out the vials for Teal'c to retrieve then pulled her into his arms. Jack let the gun drop.

*Close – too fucking close!*

Later in the Gate room, Ke'ra hesitated on the ramp and turned back to look at Daniel. She offered him a small smile.

"I sense we knew each other well before my memory was lost. Did we?"

Daniel smiled back sadly. The part of her that was Ke'ra he had known well enough. But the part that was Linea; he would never understand as long as he lived.

"No – no we never really did. Goodbye Ke'ra."

He watched as Ke'ra and the others stepped through the gate. When the event horizon disengaged, Daniel remained at the base of the ramp staring at the stone circle that had been the focus of his life for so long. They had managed to catch the ball this time. He became aware of the chocolate brown eyes boring into the back of his neck and turned slowly. The room was empty but for him and Jack. It was crunch time.

"We need to talk Jack."

"My place – 8 o'clock."

Jack turned and left without waiting for an answer. He really didn't need to. Daniel would be there at 8.

Jack made another slight adjustment to the lens and grinned as the blurry image of a nebula swam into clear focus. It had been a while since he'd been up here on his roof; since there had been a night clear enough to see the stars in all their glory, since he'd felt the need to find this particular nebula. He pulled the collar of his leather jacket up against the cold night breeze and gazed through the telescope at a spot just a few degrees east of the bright cloud of dust.

Daniel stepped quietly onto the roof and cleared his throat, half expecting Jack to jump at the noise but of course he didn't. He had probably heard the very first step the younger man had taken on the ladder that led to the roof. He approached quietly, unwilling to disturb Jack's star gazing.

"I knocked twice...."

Jack sighed and turned to look at his friend. He stood up and motioned for him to look into the viewer. Daniel frowned, removed his glasses and peered at the swirling gas cloud.

"What is it?"

"Abydos."

Daniel jerked upright and stared at Jack, his mouth hanging open. Jack reached forward and hooked his index finger under the gaping jaw forcing it closed.

"Well you can't actually see the planet from this distance but I worked out where the star was...."

Daniel continued to stare. He wondered if Jack had gone to the trouble of finding Abydos for the same reason as he had worked out the relative position of Earth during his year on that other planet. Jack was smiling sweetly and Daniel found himself shivering. He glanced back at the telescope and asked the burning question.

"Why?"

Jack dropped his gaze for a moment, as if thinking through his answer, shoring up the courage to answer truthfully.

"After I came back from the first mission I wanted....I needed something tangible...! I can't really explain it!"

Daniel wrapped his arms tightly around his chest and walked over to the guardrail that surrounded the platform. He looked up at the stars, following the direction the scope was pointing.

"I used the star charts on the cartouche to work out roughly where Earth was."

He felt the warmth of Jack's body behind him, close, but not touching and the soft voice so close to his ear.

"Did you ever think about...?"

"Every time Skaara brought out that dammed Zippo lighter!"

Daniel spun round, eyes huge and reflecting the moonlight and his inner turmoil.

"I was so happy there. I had a beautiful wife, a home, a family, translating the cartouche was going to be my life's work – I had it all Jack! But it wasn't enough."

Jack saw the pain in those amazing blue eyes and felt it mirrored in his own. He had none of those things when he returned home but somehow he had survived that year. He had come here often and gazed up at the place where he thought Abydos might be and he had waited. He hadn't even been aware that he was waiting. When Major Samuels had come for him that night, he had been right here, gazing at his nebula finally realising that the wait was almost over. He took the shivering man before him by the shoulders and stepped even closer.

"I love you Daniel. I guess I always have, it's just taken a while for me to see it."

It was almost a whisper. The younger man seemed to sag against him and his shivering became more pronounced, more violent. Hell, he was quaking in his boots. Jack wrapped his arms tightly around his friend and held him as he had on so many other occasions. The fact that this might well be the last time Daniel allowed him this close made it doubly painful but he had finally done it. He had told Daniel how he felt about him.

Finally Daniel lifted his head, cheeks damp with tears that Jack hadn't even seen fall. He took a shaky step backwards and looked into the velvety brown eyes so close to his. Jack waited for the shoe to drop.

"I know you love me Jack, you love all of us in the team, we're a family."

Jack caught the quivering jaw between less than steady fingers and raised Daniels face so that he could look him in the eyes.

"I love them Daniel, but I don't want to do this to them."

The urge to kiss his friend had grown overwhelming, but this time there was no panic rising in his chest, only a deep hunger that would not be denied a moment longer. He moved slowly, giving Daniel every opportunity to pull away, his arms lightly draped on his shoulders were in no way threatening or possessive. Daniel remained rooted to the spot, his eyes wide and his breathing a little erratic.

Jack stopped a fraction of an inch from Daniel's parted lips letting his breath mingle with the other man's own. Daniel felt a surge of raw desire searing through his body, making him shake so badly that he had no option but to cling to Jack's warm strength. The slight movement closed that final distance between them and Daniel fell into Jack's arms as if he had always belonged right there. Which of course he had.

Jack devoured him, not holding back one iota of the passion and love he was feeling. He might not be great with words, but he could show Daniel how he felt. Their bodies fused together, their need to possess each other wholly, banishing any remaining doubt or fears. Daniel was gasping and sobbing out Jack's name as his hands moved inside the leather jacket, questing for bare skin.

Jack felt the cold night air caress his stomach as his friend roughly pulled his shirt free from the waistband of this jeans and gasped at the contrasting temperature of that and Daniel's fever hot hands as they moved languidly over the newly exposed flesh. He was losing it! On the godammed roof of his house, he was losing it!

"Danny wait..." he managed between frantic kisses. Daniel opened dazed and passion darkened eyes. "Let's go inside."

Daniel began to head for the ladder but Jack caught his arm and indicated a small, darkened window that Daniel had never noticed before. Peering inside, he saw that it lead directly into Jack's bedroom. Jack pulled opened the window and clambered inside stepping onto a high chest of drawers that stood under the window. The room was in total darkness but Jack knew his way around well enough to clamber down from the unit and help Daniel down too.

"I figured that one day the ladders would be too much for me so I put the window in. Still working on the steps though."

Daniel was standing in a shaft of moonlight, uncertainty and fear suddenly resurging now that they were in Jack's bedroom. He had no idea how this had happened; only that he couldn't have stopped it even if he had wanted to.

He had come here to tell Jack that he was resigning because he couldn't go on working so closely with him feeling the way he did and fully expecting Jack to freak, in light of what the two men had gone through on P4X345. Kissing the shit out of him had not been high on his list of 'things Jack might do to me if he ever found out I want his ass again'. But now that he was faced with the very real possibility that he was going to get that ass, he didn't know what to do.

Jack slipped his leather jacket off and kicked his shoes into the corner of the room and reached out to take Daniel's trembling hand in his. In the darkness, the younger man couldn't make out his friend's face but could clearly see the glittering almost black eyes shining at him. Jack tugged him closer

"C'mere" he growled against Daniel's throat. That was all it took to send him roller coasting over the edge of sanity.

"Jaaaack," he breathed into his friend's hair as they tumbled onto the bed; all the misunderstandings and wasted time forgotten in their need to live for the moment. Jack was gentle as he removed Daniel's clothing, almost reverent. Daniel was trembling so hard he couldn't have helped if his life depended on it. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. The ticking of the clock matched the beating of his heart and the pounding of blood in his ears.

"Daniel, I want you so much it hurts."

Daniel jerked back, stung by the familiar words into memories of a time and a place better forgotten but Jack was unrepentant. He gave Daniel a little shake.

"It happened Danny. We have to get over it, which we can't do if we try to hide from it. That rat bastard made us do something that neither one of us was ready for, but I have to tell you here and now that it was the most earth-shattering experience of my entire life. The intensity of having you inside me Danny, it scared the hell out of me and I ran from it."

Jack lifted his hand to caress Daniel's cheek as he continued,

"I was already lusting after you before Lutger and his sick little sideshow happened. I was so busy crucifying myself with guilt because I enjoyed what you did to me that I forgot that you had to be hurting too. I'm sorry about that Danny. Can you forgive me for shutting you out?"

Daniel nodded and choked back the tears that threatened to turn him into an emotional wreck if he didn't get a grip on himself. He took a deep steadying breath and snuggled closer to the now familiar heat.

"If you can forgive me for making cow-eyes at the Destroyer of Worlds."

He felt Jack's laugh reverberate through his chest. It was an incredibly erotic sensation. Jack ran a gentle hand over his forearm and captured his fingers in his own.

"I could forgive you just about anything Danny. If you'll kiss me again"

A few moments later, the two men pulled apart for some air, both breathing raggedly and both impossibly hard. Jack tried to keep the mood light but if he didn't get to have Danny soon, things were going to get messy. He smiled as he rolled his friend onto his back and began teasing a taught nipple with his tongue

"Hey Danny, what say we try this again without an audience this time?"

Daniel arched his back in surrender and groaned his reply, "Right now I couldn't care less if the entire SGC were watching us Jack, I only know I have to.....ooooooh yes!"

Jack's subtle voyage south had yielded the expected results and his talented mouth had just effectively shut the Linguist up. He would remember this tactic for later, although he doubted he would actually use it in the field.

After what seemed like an eternity to Daniel, Jack stopped teasing him and swallowed him whole, which robbed the linguist of the power of speech all over again. When he did find his voice, it was to beg Jack to finish him please! Jack was only to ready to accommodate him. Daniel came, crying out something in a language Jack couldn't understand but the low, growling voice was as sexy as hell so he didn't much care if, in the heat of his passion, his friend had just called him an evil rat-bastard!

Daniel collapsed back onto the bed gasping and fighting for breath. Jack held him until the tremors subsided like he had on those nights that Daniel had no memory of, when the younger man was drunk and wracked with grief and self-loathing. He pulled Daniel into his arms and buried his lips in the feather soft hair.

"You were going to resign weren't you?"

Daniel glanced up, wondering just how Jack did that. Read his mind like it was on open book.

"I still might Jack. We shouldn't be feeling this way about each other."

"Says who?"

"The fucking Air Force Jack, who you, by the way, work for."

Jack ran a soothing hand up and down Daniel's flexing bicep. The reality of what they had just done was beginning to hit the younger man and a major league freak was on the cards.

"Look Daniel, I love you. If it comes down to it, I'll retire."

"You would do that for me?"

Jack could almost have wept at the note of disbelief in Daniels voice. He honestly didn't understand the depth of love he inspired in people. Especially in one wrinkled-round-the-edges-slightly-sagging-Colonel.

"Sure, done it before remember – twice...."

Daniel ran his fingers through the soft matt of hair sprinkling Jack's chest and smiled at the shiver the touch engendered in his lover. He let the hand trail lower, aware that he had been slightly remiss in his duties earlier and that Jack was still more than a little aroused.

".....and the knees aren't what they used to.........ah fuck Danny!"

"Give me time Colonel, give me time."

Jack reached down and stilled Daniel's questing fingers with his own.

"I mean it Daniel. What we have, it's the real thing. This doesn't happen every day and neither of us deserved to be alone. I don't intend for either of us to lose the Stargate, but if our relationship starts to effect safety of the team, I'm gone. They can always find another crusty old codger to replace my sorry ass!"

Daniel began a very distracting topological survey of the terrain before him using his lips and tongue but Jack was determined to finish this little heart to heart so that his lover was left in no doubt where he stood.

"If I have to retire to keep you Daniel, I will do in a heartbeat. Nothing is more important to me than you."

Jack waited, painfully aware that although he and Daniel were definitely on the same page regarding the sex, his lover had not actually told him if his feelings were returned. It shouldn't matter but it did. Colonel Jack O'Neill was as insecure as the next guy. Daniel reached up and kissed him slowly and incredibly erotically until the part of his brain that wanted the words of love said 'fuck it- who cares' and gladly surrendered its blood supply to body parts that needed it more.

Daniel's hand moved sinuously under his own and Jack released his grip, eyes fluttering closed as he gave himself over to the sensations rippling though him. Daniel was very good at touching. Before long, his breath was coming in short pants and his ass and thighs were clenching under the sweet assault. Then Daniel leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"God Jack I love you so much! How the hell have I lived so long without this?"

Jack groaned, the words lifting him from the bed as surely as the force of the orgasm sweeping up from his toes.

"Oh Jesus Christ DANNY!"

Daniel held him tight and murmured words of love until the fireworks behind his lids abated and he could speak again.

"You know you're stuck with me right?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way Jack."

Jack wrapped himself around his lover and breathed in the scent of Daniel and sex and pine trees drifting in from the open window. Life just didn't get better than this. Daniel was finally his. The man was like a force of nature; strong, beautiful and potentially lethal. Yes – life would never be boring again.