They say that when returning to consciousness, the first of your senses to come back online is hearing. Jack O'Neill would have to agree with that. The sound he was hearing right now, very close to his ear, by the way, was that of someone snoring. Loudly. His mind tried to process that. The only person he had heard snoring in such close quarters recently was Daniel. Having had to share a tent with the man so often, Jack had become accustomed to the sound, so he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the person lying next to him was *not* Daniel.

Then his sense of smell and taste returned to give him a possible explanation of why he might be lying in (touch next – yup silk sheets alright) bed with someone warm, and naked and snoring! His mouth tasted like a sewer. And his breath was at least 90 proof. He must have drunk far more last night at the village celebration than he had thought. One glass, he'd told them all. It would be rude to refuse but stick to just one glass. Seems, he hadn't heeded his own words.

Well that only left sight. Jack only had to open his eyes to see who he was in bed with. Easy. No problem. Just open them up and turn round...

It seemed that Carter had been psyching herself up to do the same thing. They faced each other, gasped and hauled the (dark purple – now that he could see it as well as feel it) silk sheet up to their chins.

Okay, this was bad. And not at all what he had expected. He vaguely remembered dancing and singing with several nice looking young women dressed very scantily in Xena-like outfits. Carter didn't look very pleased about waking up naked next to her CO either. She kept lifting the edge of the sheet and peeking underneath.

//Yup Carter, Naked. As in unclothed, nude, disrobed, totally and utterly fucked!//

Then there was movement on the other side of Carter, and Teal'c's eyes appeared over her shoulder. "Good morning." He said matter-of-factly, ignoring the coronary Jack was having. Carter flopped back onto the pillows and covered her face with both hands.

"Oh God this is NOT happening."

"I'm afraid it is Sam." Said Daniel apologetically over Jack's shoulder. Jack collapsed, rolling onto his back to get a look at Daniel.

//Yup, naked too.//

"Oh sweet. The whole team is here. Isn't that special?" said Jack sarcastically, still trying to recall ANY of the events of last night. That booze must have been strong stuff. Daniel noticed that his thigh was uncovered and tried to tug some of the sheets away from Jack who steadfastly held onto them.

Teal'c sat up. Carter looked like she was trying not to think of the fact that she was lying naked between two incredibly good looking guys, but she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from Teal'c pecs. The Jaffa smiled at his team mates.

"Do you not recall your actions of last night?"

Jack had entered into a tugging contest with Daniel, and had managed to expose not only his friend's thigh, but the rest of one long leg too. "Huh?" he asked stupidly then dragged his attention away from the flesh and back to the facts, "Ah, no. I got nothin'. Carter?"

"Veils."

Teal'c's smile grew wider and Jack just frowned, not getting it. She rubbed her eyes furiously, hoping that no more of that memory would return, but their friendly Jaffa was only too happy to fill in the blanks.

"You referred to it as the dance of the seven veils. Although I could count only three, it was most…entertaining." Carter groaned and slid under the sheets in embarrassment.

Daniel propped himself up on one elbow. "Teal'c you remember last night clearly?"

"I did not drink the wine at the celebration."

Jack rolled over to face Teal'c, dragging the sheet with him and smiling a small evil smile at the thought of Daniel's ass exposed to the elements. The archaeologist growled and wrapped himself around Jack's back, clearly saying ‘if you don't give me the covers, I'll use you as one'. Jack relented and let his friend have some silk. He then fixed Teal'c with an icy stare.

"Really? So why, pray tell, are you in bed...*naked*...with us?"

"I thought it wise to feign inebriation. If I had remained unaffected, the villagers would know that I had not partaken of their celebration cup. You yourself informed us that we should not offend them."

Jack narrowed his eyes but let it drop. "So come on T, spill. What did we do last night? Don't hold anything back. We can take it."

Carter's groan was muffled under the sheet, and Jack tugged at her hair to make her sit up. And Daniel's breath on his shoulder was very distracting.

"Carter, come out and take it like a man." She emerged slowly, holding onto the sheet tightly with white knuckled determination. Teal'c smiled again, and Jack decided that the Jaffa was enjoying this WAY too much.

"After MajorCarter's dance, O'Neill entertained us with an enthusiastic rendering of a song that compared you, DanielJackson, to a whimpering canine who was incapable of hunting."

They all stared at him for a moment until the jaffa elaborated. "I believe you called it ‘You aint nuthin' but a hound dawg' originally sung by some sovereign or other. I do not recall his full title."

"The King T. Just the king." It was Jack's turn to hide his face. Daniel was sniggering into the pillow until Teal'c's voice brought him up sharply.

"And you DanielJackson, allowed the elders to embellish your left arm with a most attractive tribal design."

Daniel sat bolt upright, his gaze flying to the blue and purple swirls on his forearm.

"I got a Tattoo? Oh SHIT!"

Jack ran a finger through the design and the tip came away smudged with blue. "Relax, its only body paint. Okay how did we all end up naked and in the same bed T?"

"The final ritual required that in order to show complete openness and honesty, we strip and dance around the campfire" Three jaws fell open. They were all lost in that imagery for a while. Then Jack recovered. "Now *that* I wish I could remember. Do you suppose we could try to pass this off as a team building exercise?"

Teal'c ignored him. "After the ritual, we mingled freely with the villagers and eventually they brought us here and put us into this bed. By that time, both MajorCarter and DanielJackson had passed out and required assistance to get here."

Jack sat up and pointed to a pile in the corner of the room. "Are those our clothes?"

"Indeed."

Silence. Someone would have to get up and go fetch the clothing but no one was volunteering. Jack wondered if he would get away with ordering one of his kids to go bring him his pants. Because he sure as hell wasn't gonna do it. The bed heaved, and Teal'c slowly stood up, totally unabashed at his nakedness. Three sets of very wide eyes tracked the Jaffa across the room and watched as he slowly dressed. Jack reached over and hooked his finger under Carter's dangling jaw, making it snap shut.

"Quit drooling Carter. You too Daniel."

Teal'c finished getting dressed and turned to face his audience. As he spoke, he headed for the door.

"I will attempt to locate our weapons and GDO's. We shall rendezvous at the Stargate in twenty minutes."

"Wait T, our clothes…?" Jack sighed in frustration and looked at Carter hopefully.

"No way." She said simply, folding her hand across her chest. Daniel grinned and started to wiggle down underneath the sheet.

"Go on Sam. We won't peek." And with that, he disappeared. Jack rolled his eyes and began to slide under the cover too. Quickly, Carter bolted for the pile of clothes and narrowly avoided ending up wearing Jack's pants in her haste. Now THAT would have taken some fancy talking back at the base.

Under the sheets, Daniel and Jack lay side by side, listening to their friend mutter under her breath as she dressed. It was too dark in there to make out each other's features but they looked at each other anyway.

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"I think I remember something."

"Me too."

"Last night, did I let you see my...appendectomy scar?"

There was a moment of absolute silence then Jack answered, "Among other things, yes."

Any answer Daniel would have made was interrupted by Sam's voice. "Okay I'm decent. I'll go help Teal'c."

Jack threw back the sheets and shouted at the closing door, "Our clothes, damn it!" When she didn't return, Jack bounced off the bed angrily, not really caring that he was flashing his ass at his friend. But Daniel's voice halted him in mid stride.

"Oh my God, Jack – freeze."

He looked over his shoulder curiously and saw Daniel staring in horror at his ass. It was the same kind of look he wore when that huge flying stinging bug thing had landed on Teal'c's back a few years ago. Jack whipped round, trying to get a look at his ass, looking for all the world like a dog trying to catch its own tail. But Daniel wasn't even distracted by the sight of Jack's cock bobbing about as he twirled. He jumped out of the bed and grabbed hold of Jack by the hips to halt him. Then he dropped to his knees and traced the bite marks with a shaking finger. He recognised those dental impressions.

"Oh no, we didn't...did we?"

The feel of that long gently finger on his butt was the trigger to fully open the floodgates of memory for Jack. "Oh yeah."

"Oh god!"

"You said that last night too."

"Did NOT!"

"Did too. And a whole lot more besides. Coming back to you now, plantboy?"

"Shit"

Jack grabbed his pants, and hopped about some more while trying to get them on. Daniel reached for his own pants, his face a mask. Jack finally managed to get both legs into his BDU's and fumbled with the buttons.

"Oh yeah. I can see the briefing now, yeah General, it was like this, we all got wasted on the local moonshine, carter stripped, I sang Elvis and Daniel got a tattoo and sucked my..."

"JACK!"

"...Richard."

"Your what?"

"Hey, I think it deserves its Sunday name after last night."

He pulled his t-shirt over his head and emerged to find Daniel staring at him intently.

"I can't believe I did that. Was it good?"

"Huh?"

"Was it good? Did you like it?"

Jack tossed Daniel his jacket and opened the door. As they walked out into the sunlight, he saw Teal'c and Carter talking to the village elder. Teal'c was holding both his staff weapon and Jack's P-90.

"Danny I'm a guy. ANY blowjob is good. It could have been Senator Kinsey down there and I would still have…"

"Ewwww!"

"Anyway, it was good. Better than average actually. Could still use some work, but basically..."

Daniel stopped walking as gaped at Jack in disbelief. "Jack, I can't believe you're standing there *evaluating* my blowjob skills."

"Hey – I'm your CO, it's my job to make sure you're always improving. And I would be more than happy to put in some extra time helping you hone that particular skill."

"Really?"

"Sure. At the academy I always excelled at the practical examinations, but I didn't do too badly with the orals either."

They had reached their friends and Carter's eyebrow rose slightly at the comment. Jack accepted his weapon from Teal'c. Daniel made their farewells to the grinning elder and Carter dialled up the gate. Just as they were about to step through, Daniel halted him with a soft hand on his arm.

"So Jack, what will the report *really* say?"

"We got wasted on the local moonshine, we passed out, and we woke up with a hangover. Agreed?"

"O'Neill, I did not, in fact, get ‘wasted'. I have a very clear memory of the events of last night, and should GereralHammond ask…"

"You will LIE Teal'c."

"Like a rug O'Neill."

"Shall we?"

As Carter and Teal'c stepped through the shimmering even horizon, Jack turned to his friend and grinned.

"Oral sex 101, tonight, my place."