Jack's voice was deep and filled with an undercurrent of annoyed resignation. They had been dancing around this all night and nothing was resolved yet. So now Jack was back in command and taking control of the situation.

"Ok - lie down."

"What?"

"On the bed - lie down"

"Why?"

"Daniel we need to practice."

"I can do without *that* sort of practice!"

"Well I beg to differ. The reception is tomorrow night and you still flinch every time I touch you."

It was true. They had been trying to get comfortable with the idea of being a ‘couple' but it was just too embarrassing to do in front of the whole base. Jack had been happy to take it easy, but he was beginning to loose patience with Daniel's ‘shy virgin' attitude. Time was running out and he had decided drastic action was needed. Daniel paced the bedroom floor, his barely contained anxiety radiating from every pore.

"I know I'm sorry."

"So lie down."

"Ok."

Daniel threw himself onto Jack's bed and stared up at the ceiling absently noting, in his panic, that it needed painting.

"There - now don't jump three miles in the air ok ‘cos I'm gonna lie beside you."

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to react to the bed dipping as Jack's weight settled on it. Then Jack was speaking again.

"There how's that?"

"Fine – its fine."

"Good. Right. So now we kiss..."

"WHAT?"

Daniel bolted upright, the top of his head impacting with Jack's chin. The Colonel howled and rubbed gingerly at the sore spot, fixing his friend with an angry glare. Daniel was standing at the foot of the bed, his chest heaving and a look of wild terror in his eyes. Jack frowned and sat up.

"We have to do it sometime."

"No. No we don't."

"Of course we do Daniel – you saw how they were? They're a very – demonstrative – people. Relax. Trust me."

"Jack I can't."

Jack reached out and pulled Daniel to sit on the bed next to him. He kept a firm hand wrapped around his friend's wrist, although he had already decided that if he decided to bolt again, they would have to admit defeat.

"Hey - if I can do this, I'm dammed sure you can space monkey!"

"No - please, I mean it Jack I can't do this - I'm sorry."

"It's just a kiss for cryin' out loud. Its not like I'm asking you to pick out curtains!"

"I can't kiss you."

"Am I *that* unattractive?"

Daniel risked a sideway glance at Jack. He almost sounded hurt. But Daniel couldn't afford to let his resolve crumble now.

"This is just a game to you Jack - a bit of fun. Something else you can tease me about over the next couple of weeks. Something you can embarrass the shit out of me about!"

"Well of course it's just a game Daniel!"

"No Jack it really isn't - not for me anyway."

"Lighten up Danny, if you cant even bring yourself to kiss me, how the hell are we gonna convince the Omnians that we're together?"

"Why the hell do they have to be a single sex race anyway. Whoever heard of only ONE sex? God did you see their faces when the set eyes on Sam."

"Poor Sam."

"They looked at her like she was - deformed!"

"Did you find out how the hell they reproduce?"

"No Jack, it's not the sort of thing you ask in polite conversation. I guess its done in the lab."

Daniel fidgeted restlessly with the hem of his sweater. Jack wasn't sure why his friend was freaking out so much. He had an awful suspicion that before the night was out, he was going to have to ask Teal'c to be his ‘lover' for this mission! The thought of kissing the big Jaffa sent a shiver down his spine and not in a good way either! Ewwwww!

The thought of kissing Daniel, for whatever reason, didn't fill him with nearly so much dread. They were friends; they were close friends. They could laugh about this later. Couldn't they? If Daniel ever got over his initial reticence and made with the lip-lock!

"I guess we'll find out eventually. Look Daniel - this is important. You know we need that treaty with them. You volunteered for this. Why cant we have a little fun while were dying of embarrassment?"

"What, you're trying to cover the fact that you hate having to do this with humour?"

"Its what I do Daniel! Look, maybe I pushed a little too hard earlier, but I'm fucking scared shitless. I never kissed a man before."

"Me either."

Daniel flung himself backwards and stared at the peeling ceiling again. When he risked a quick glance at his friend, Jack had a strange look on his face.

"Oh? Oh! Well that's good. I mean..."

"Jack did you think...?"

"Well I've always wondered."

"Jack!"

"You're an academic - it happens!"

Daniel looked down at Jack's fingers still wrapped around his wrist.

"Ok - so were really gonna try to pull this off?"

Jack lay down too, finally releasing Daniel's wrist to cup his hands behind his head. He let out his breath in a whoosh and tried to find what Daniel found so fascinating about his roof.

"Well I thought so. Beginning to wish I hadn't volunteered now. I thought we could do this because we're friends, we're close you know?"

"Yeah jack - but not * that* close. I don't believe you thought it would be fun!"

"Yeah sorry - I guess we'd better get up... "

Jack began to stand but Daniel pushed him lightly back down again and tried smiling rather unconvincingly.

"Wait! I'm used to it now you should probably just stay where you are."

"And the kissing?"

"Well – er..."

"No tongues - I promise."

"JACK!!!"

Jack rolled onto his side and grabbed two handfuls of broad shoulder.

"Ok ok I admit - I'm nervous. I'm doing it again. Ok take a deep breath and close your eyes."

"Why?"

"It might help if you imagine someone else kissing you?"

"Oh no - I don't trust you. I want to see what you're doing."

"Exactly what the hell do you think I'm gonna do?"

"I don't know Jack - that's why I'm NOT closing my eyes."

"Well do you mind if I do?"

Daniel tried to back away. He should have known that Jack wouldn't let this lie. It was always about Jack and what he wanted. Never about Daniel, never about what Daniel might want or *not* want to do. He had never really stood a chance tonight. This is the way it had to go down! Admitting that made him feel a little better but not much. Because the shit was about to hit the fan in no uncertain terms! He sighed and went limp.

"Ok but then how are you gonna find the target so to speak?"

"Let me worry about that."

"Oh right - fine. Well then... so you're just gonna... ?"

"Jeez - let me know when you're finished talking wont ya?"

"Ok sorry, little nervous here. I'm finished."

"Sure?"

Jack began to lean forward, his tongue snaking out to moisten his dry lips. Daniel's eyes widened and he could hear his own heart hammering in his ribcage.

"I... Jack I can't!"

"DANIEL!"

"I can't let you kiss me!"

"Close your godammed eyes."

"No."

"Ok, fine, watch if you have to, but shut the Fuck up! This is difficult enough as it is!"

"Jaaammmmmphf!"

Ka-boom! Daniel's life ended and then began again in the blink of an eye. The lips on his were firm and strong; the hands on his shoulders, gentle but insistent and his heart, it was in pieces on the floor. Jack's lips glided slowly across his own and he couldn't help it, he arched towards the warmth of the body lying so close to his own and groaned. Jack gasped in surprise and that was all the invitation Daniel needed to slip his tongue inside. His fingers ghosted into the mane of silver and held the shocked colonel gently in place while he deepened the kiss. When they pulled apart, they were both breathing harshly. Jack's eyes were like saucers.

"Oh my God!"

"I'm sorry."

"Daniel?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh God... I begged you not to Jack!"

"I didn't know!"

"I'm sorry." It was almost a whisper. Daniel's eyes dropped to stare at the quilt cover.

"Ok - ok its fine! I'm fine. No problem here. This is er... this is good! We can use this."

"What?"

"Well I mean, we have to act as if were attracted to each other right? Well we're half way there now!"

"You mean half of us are all the way there don't you?"

"Um... !"

Jack was finding the geometric design on the quilt equally as fascinating as Daniel. Neither of them could bring themselves to look at each other right now. Jack wondered how the hell he'd missed something like this. How do you not notice that your best friend wants your ass?

"Danny...?"

"Jack stop! Please, I can't do this. You see why now don't you?"

"I wont let you loose control Daniel."

"You wont be able to stop it. I want to feel you're lips on mine so much my face hurts! If you lay one finger on me I swear I'll burst into flames!"

"Really? I mean... I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Jack I've wanted you for so long, you have no idea."

"You're right about that much. I really didn't buy a clue did I?"

"Not that I made it obvious... mmphf!"

Suddenly Daniel found himself pinned to the mattress by a rather aroused Air Force Colonel. A second later, and the Colonel was closing the gap between them for round two. Daniel squirmed for a few seconds before realising that wasn't the wisest of tactical decisions and lay still until Jack's lips released him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Kissing you again."

"Jack...?"

"Look Daniel, I liked it ok? We have to do this, there no reason why we shouldn't both enjoy it is there?"

"You... I..."

"You and I... yeah?"

Daniel managed to wiggle out from under Jack.

"Let me make this simpler for you Jack - I'm very attracted to you - in a *sexual* context. I want your ass Jack!"

"Woa Danny! TMI! I'm still getting used to the fact that I get a boner when I kiss you."

"You - What?"

"A boner, a hard-on an erec..."

"I *know* what a boner is thank you. I am a linguist after all."

"See?"

Jack grabbed Daniel's hand and placed it on the object of discussion.

"Oh! Oh wow, er..."

"That feels nice..." said Jack breathlessly. Daniel hastily withdrew his hand, which had mistakenly got the impression it was supposed to be caressing the object of discussion.

"Jack I want you to get up now."

"Already there Danny."

"I mean I want you to get up off me"

"Nope. I like the view."

"Jack get... mmmphhhf!"

And again with the kissing and the groaning and the... oh hell! Daniel gave up trying to figure out why this was such a bad idea and went in search of the object of discussion again to find out if it would be interested in a more in depth conversation!

"God Danny I never imagined this..."

They lay together, tangled in damp and frankly icky sheets. The moon was peeking in through the almost closed curtains, bathing the room in an ethereal glow.

"I did."

"Really? How did it compare to the reality?"

"Not even close! I don't remember shaking like this in my fantasies."

"You had fantacies about me? Oh this is great. Spill!"

"NO Jack!"

Daniel tried to bury his face in the sheet but Jack tugged it away and smiled down at his lover.

"C'mon Daniel. Tell me. I need some ideas - never done this before remember?"

"Well... a lot of them feature your dress blues, especially the hat and shades."

"Really?"

"And a wall. Any wall."

"Daniel! I am shocked and whoa - more than a little turned on!"

Daniel reached beneath the sheet and got first hand confirmation of that fact. He smiled an evil smile and ran a finger up the object of discussion until Jack shivered with delight and kissed him again. Daniel pulled away and grinned.

"Now how did *that* happen?"

"I just imagined you nailing me against my front door. I got hard! Sue me. Got any more fantasies for my perusal?"

"Well there's the one with the chains and shackles."

"Oh? And in this fantasy - am I extremely dirty and covered in sweat?"

Daniel nodded.

"You bastard! I told Carter you were out of your head with addiction. Turns out you just liked to see me chained up and helpless!"

"...and naked."

"Woo hoo!"

Daniel rolled over and pinned Jack to the mattress. Running a finger up over the Colonel's chest to graze a nipple, he grinned at the other man's amazing reactions.

"Oh and my personal favourite - a huge brass four poster, silk sheets and massage oil."

"Danny... I love it when you talk dirty."

Daniel gazed into the chocolate brown eyes and frowned a little.

"Are you really ok with this Jack?"

"I guess I should be freaking out right about now. But to tell you the truth Danny, I guess I've always known that the tension between us is mainly sexual. I may be essentially straight - but I'm not that naive! I just didn't know what to do about it until now."

"And what have you decided to do about it?"

"I've decided to buy some massage oil and some silk sheets."