Kowalski squeezed his fingers tightly around the young archaeologist's neck and shook him until his glasses fell off.

Daniel could feel his tenuous hold on consciousness begin to slip and struggled a little harder, but Charlie Kowalski was a large man and was trained at hand to hand combat, unlike Daniel. Just as his vision began to blur, he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye as the tent flap was pulled roughly back and he heard a deep voice rasp out an order, "Drop him Kowalski."

"Jack, you heard him. He can't get us home!"

"DROP. HIM. NOW!"

Daniel landed with a thump on the ground. His eyes were watering and his chest was wracked with coughing as his tortured lungs tried to draw in too much oxygen all at once. The voice was speaking again, "Go and cool off. I'll speak to you later."

Daniel forced his eyes open and watched as Kowalski locked eyes defiantly with his CO but finally backed down. Angry eyes burned into Daniel's but he left the tent without another word. Daniel rubbed absently at the vivid red marks marring this throat and glanced up at the Colonel.

"Saved by the bell." he rasped.

"Jackson - what the hell do you expect? We trusted you, I trusted you to get my team home."

Daniel picked himself up from the sand and brushed absently at his clothes to dislodge the loose grains.

"I thought I could."

"You're full of SHIT Jackson! I should have let Kowalski kick the crap out of you!"

Colonel O'Neill was pacing back and forth, obviously furious at the younger man and rightly so. After all he had been so cocksure he could do this. The truth was that he really hadn't thought it through and now all these men were stuck here because of him.

"Thanks."

"Huh?"

"For changing your mind about that. I think he would have killed me if you hadn't stepped in."

O'Neill stopped pacing and advanced on Daniel menacingly. A lesser man might have cowered or at least backed away, but the archaeologist held his ground unflinchingly.

"Don't go counting your blessings yet Jackson. Charlie would have made it quick, I know ways to kill a man that prolong the suffering for days!"

He stood right in front of Daniel, his fists jammed into his hips, his eyes blazing with raw anger. Daniel knew and recognised the alpha male establishing his dominance and even though he knew he should probably let it pass, he rose to the challenge.

"How very macho of you!"

"I swear Jackson."

O'Neill's eyes flashed and he took hold of the archaeologist roughly by both shoulders and shook him like a rag doll. Daniel went rigid, clamping his teeth shut until the shaking stopped.

"Daniel. My name is Daniel."

"I don't fucking care what your name is you bastard!" O'Neill released him with a little too much force and watched as the younger man staggered backwards, "you've marooned my men on a planet on the other side of the godammed universe and you want me to call you Danny? Fuck you Jackson!"

Now Daniel could see genuine despair in those chocolate brown eyes.

The man didn't care about himself but he did care about his men.

Daniel felt the guilt rising like acid in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to.to.to all this!"

"All WHAT?"

"This military mindset. Mission objectives, Prime Targets, Time constraints. I'm an archaeologist, we take our time."

O'Neill advanced on him again and stopped with his face inches from the younger man's. He spoke quietly this time but somehow the words were far more menacing than when he had been shouting.

"Well I hate to be the one ta burst your bubble rockboy, but the Earth is in real danger here and we are its first line of defence.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Daniel couldn't help but react. All his life he had been the focus of bullies. It wasn't like he had the word victim tattooed across his forehead and he never let a bully get the better of him, and yet they all tried. O'Neill was no different. He wondered why he had ever thought the arrogant cocky soldier-boy was worth getting to know better. He stood a little straighter and tossed him a mock salute.

"Yes SIR!"

"Fuck you!"

"You know O'Neill, you keep saying that, I'm beginning to believe you really do want to!"

And that was the moment that Daniel knew he'd gone too far. The look of pure loathing that overtook the other man's features was the scariest thing the archaeologist had ever seen. This time he did take a fleeting step backwards as the Colonel launched himself at Daniel.

"Right that's it, come here you sick bastard and I'll show you want I want to do to you."

"Go ahead, if it'll make you feel better."

His hand raised, fingers curled into a fist, O'Neill hesitated. His arm began to shake with the effort of holding back the blow he had been about to deliver. Jackson stood impassive before him, eyes squeezed tightly closed, waiting for the blow to land. He let his hand drop.

"You're not worth it."

The dazzling blue eyes flickered open and O'Neill felt a wave of dizziness sweep over him. The younger man should have been cowering in the corner by now yet there he stood, refusing to give an inch.

"Not worth what?" he asked, a small smile creasing the corner of his mouth, "your career? Worried I'd report you for hitting me? Well as you so politely pointed out earlier, I can't get us home so no problem there."

O'Neill's eyes narrowed fractionally but he remained silent. He turned then and marched out of the tent, leaving a very confused archaeologist in his wake. Daniel had no idea why he had found that heated exchange so exhilarating. But he had.

Jack stood shoulder to shoulder with his men and listened to the boy- god speak. He had learned to his cost that it was a mistake to think of him like that. This was no innocent boy they were dealing with.

The alien may well be in possession of a youth's body, but the evil he faced now was as ancient as the universe. The eyes that glowed and sparked, told tales of horrors even O'Neill could not imagine.

He understood nothing that was being said, but he had already worked out that he was about to die.

The hours spent in the flooded cell being spat on by those half naked arrogant bastard guards had been bad enough. Plenty of time to think of how badly he'd fucked up. He had tried to be a hero and now an innocent civilian was dead. His only hope of getting his team home was dead. Danny was dead.

His mind kept flashing back to the moment the stupid, brave, son-of-a- bitch threw himself in front of the guard's weapon and got himself killed trying to save a man he didn't even like. Jack had no illusions on that score, the archaeologist had made his feelings quite plain. To him, Jack was a grunt, a stupid soldier boy, a jarhead. Jack couldn't blame him for feeling that way. The truth was that he had been acting that way from the moment they reactivated him.

Jonathan O'Neill was a Colonel in the United States Air Force and you didn't get to that rank by being stupid. Shame they didn't test you periodically to see if you had become stupid since then! Because if they did, Jack would be busted back to captain in a heartbeat. He had been so caught up in his grief, in his single-minded attempt to end his own suffering and go out a hero, that he had not truly listened to what the young man had been saying. Hope. There had to be hope.

But now he was dead and it was Jack's fault. Daniel was dead, Charlie was dead and soon his men would be too. Jack held his head up and refused to be intimidated by the boy-god and his glowing eyes. Bring it on you rat-bastard.

Suddenly there was movement behind the throne and Jack couldn't hold in the gasp of shock as Daniel Jackson stepped out into the sunlight. He was dead! Well okay not dead, but damn it he HAD been dead! Jack shook his head to clear it then watched in fascination as a guard handed Daniel one of those staff shaped weapons. Daniel took the thing and began advancing on Jack and the team. It didn't take a genius to work out that the alien had ordered the archaeologist to kill them all. Jack took a deep breath. He was sure that Daniel would at least make it quick.

The young man walked slowly down the steps, his eyes never leaving Jack's. When he was standing right in front of the Colonel he glanced into the crowd of people gathered around the pyramid and frowned slightly. Then he looked directly at Jack and suddenly Jack knew. He knew exactly what the young man was going to do. Later he would wonder where the knowledge had come from, how they had silently communicated to each other without words. But at that moment, he only knew that the stupid, brave, dead, son-of-a-bitch was about to save his life! Daniel whirled around and fired at the self proclaimed Sun God, but his shot went wide of the mark and all hell broke loose. There was confusion, screaming and the sound of gunfire and the blasting concussion of those dammed staff weapons all around. Someone threw a robe over him and then he was running for his life, Danny right behind him.

***

The temperature had dropped close to zero and the wind chill factor cut through Jack's robe and right to the bone. He lost his grip on the camel-like beast and stumbled. Behind him he heard Jackson fall and turned in time to see the young man curl into a ball. He dragged himself across to the shivering, huddled form and urged him to stand up, his voice being ripped from his mouth by the cruel biting wind and cast away over the dunes. He wasn't going to let this man die again. That was not an option. He leaned closer and shouted directly into the other man's ear.

"Jackson, we have to keep going. If we stay in the open, we die."

"Can't.Jack.sorry" he younger man wheezed. His allergies were not being helped by the amount to sand being whipped into their faces, even with the hand-woven scarves covering their mouths, the sand got everywhere, stinging their faces and irritating their eyes. Jack tugged at Daniel's sleeve.

"Come ON Danny.we have.to MOVE!"

The archaeologist slumped down onto the dune and lay still. Jack curled himself around the younger man, trying to keep him warm with his own body heat and knowing that he would soon lose consciousness himself and they would both be dead but hoping for a miracle anyway.

As he felt his grip on reality waver, he pressed his lips to where he hoped the young man's ear was and whispered, "Hope Danny.you taught me to hope. Hang on okay.just hang on a little longer."

Kowalski grinned widely and gestured at the boys clustered round the campfire.

"So what'dya think? They're not exactly Special Forces but they sure were eager to join up!"

O'Neill grabbed the nearest gun and yanked it away from the kid. He was still shivering but the anger was clearly displayed for anyone to see.

"Take these guns away lieutenant before they hurt themselves."

"Sir?" Kowalski was obviously a little confused. He had expected a better reaction than this.

"You heard me, send them all home."

The boys understood none of the words but the hostility was clear enough. The Chief's son watched the face of the man he had come to idolise and frowned. O'Neill couldn't meet the frank regard and looked instead at his 2IC. Kowalski looked even more confused.

"There's no place for these kids to go. Anyway we could sure use their help right now."

O'Neill cut him off angrily, his voice unsteady like a man on the edge.

"For What? Huh? To do WHAT?"

Daniel looked into the haunted brown eyes and felt ashamed that he was to blame for all this. If he hadn't said he could do this, then there would not have been a mission in the first place and these boys, these children would still be innocent of the horrors they had just witnessed. But there was worse to come. He thought about the device O'Neill had brought here and he felt anger rise in his own chest. He might have been responsible for getting them here, but Colonel Jack O'Neill was the one with his finger on the trigger now.

Daniel met his eyes unflinchingly, "Why don't you just tell them everything? Why don't you tell them about the bomb?"

As soon as he said the words, he regretted them. O'Neill's eyes filled with pain which was quickly suppressed as he met his 2IC's questioning gaze. Kowalski looked hurt more than anything.

"What's he talking about?"

Jack locked eyes with Daniel again, daring him to interrupt. Daring him to find a single fault in the military logic that had brought them to this point. Then he fixed Kowalski with a steely glare and told him the truth.

"My orders were simple, track down signs of any possible danger and if I found any, blow up the Stargate." His eyes found Daniel's again, "Well I found some."

Daniel didn't flinch. He took a deep breath and sighed, "Well your bomb is his now and tomorrow he's gonna send it back to Earth along with a shipment of that mineral they mine here and when that thing goes off, its gonna cause an explosion 100 times more destructive than that bomb alone was capable off."

"I'll intercept that bomb before he can send it through."

Kowalski looked bewildered.

"Why wasn't I told of this?"

"Because there wasn't any reason to tell ya Kowalski, you weren't even supposed to be here! You were all going to go right back through with Daniel." O'Neill wasn't aware that he's used Jackson's first name. He carried on speaking, "I was gonna stay behind alone and blow up the Stargate and that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

Daniel shifted uncomfortably. He had hoped he could convince Jack that this was not the way to go.

"It's the gate on Earth that poses a threat, that's the one we have to shut down."

Glittering brown eyes met cool blue in silent recrimination.

"You're absolutely right, but since you don't know how to get us back, we don't have that option do we?"

Daniel felt the eyes boring right into his soul. The man was in pain and he was lashing out at the person he thought was causing the pain. Daniel felt desperately sorry for him. He watched as the Colonel hauled himself slowly to his feet and went in search of solitude. Daniel gave him a moment, then followed.

He wasn't too difficult to find, the caves offered little in the way of privacy. Jack was sitting on the floor staring into the flickering light of an oil lamp. Daniel lowered himself to the ground opposite him. He knew he wasn't being fair to the man. He was only trying to do his job. The job he had been trained to do. He didn't have to agree with the ethics, he just had to find a way to work with these people who, if he ever did get them home, he would most likely never see again. He reached out and placed a hand on the iron hard shoulder.

"I AM sorry. I didn't think it through. I guess I just assumed too much."

"In my line of work, assuming gets good people killed. Those men out there, they deserve better than this."

"I'm sorry."

The regret and pain in those words hit Jack hard. He knew he wasn't the only one suffering here. He had never bothered to check if Jackson had a family waiting for him on Earth. The young man was probably terrified too. He reached out and clasped the back of Daniel's neck and squeezed reassuringly. The huge blue eyes blinked at him and suddenly he wanted to crush the young man to his chest and hold on tight. Letting go quickly, he wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked himself back and forth.

Daniel watched through hooded eyes. For a moment there, it had looked like he had finally broken through the Colonel's reserve. He had almost been the recipient of a hug! He felt slightly light-headed at the ridiculous thought and hurriedly got to his feet.

"I'm gonna go feed the animals. I'll be back soon okay?"

Jack just nodded and hugged himself tighter. Daniel fled the cave, sure that he was doing the right thing in giving the older man a little time by himself. When he returned later, Jack was still sitting in the same spot. His body language suggested that he was more relaxed but his face was still haunted. Daniel had been doing a little thinking too.

"You had accepted that whatever happened," he began without preamble, "you would never be going home." It wasn't a question. Just a statement of fact. Jack didn't bother denying it. Daniel stepped closer and let the worry in his heart show in his voice.

"Don't you have people who care about you? Do you have a family?"

Daniel almost gasped at the intense pain he saw momentarily flicker across O'Neill's face before the quickly buried it under cold words.

"I had a family. No-one should have to outlive their own child."

Daniel was shocked to the core to hear of the older man's tragedy. It touched something deep inside Daniel and he wanted to help. But there was more at stake here than just Jack.

"I don't want to die, your men don't want to die and these people don't want to die. It's a shame you seem in such a hurry to."

Jack's head whipped round and he glared accusingly at the archaeologist. He expected to see disgust there but found only a deep sadness mirrored in the fathomless blue eyes that reminded him of the Stargate event horizon. And a challenge. He sighed deeply. Suddenly the anger left him. Jackson may have been full of shit but he was still their best hope of getting home alive and he was willing to die trying, Jack could see the honesty of the man's soul shining out of his eyes.

As Daniel walked away, the young kid, Skaara, came hesitantly into the cave offering Jack some water. Jack didn't have the heart to chase him again after the incident earlier with the guns. He watched as Daniel left, and as the younger man glanced back at him, he tried to show his regret with one searching look. Daniel offered a half smile by way of acceptance then he was gone. Jack felt very alone.

Daniel followed Sha're through to an area at the back of the cave and lowered himself to the floor, watching her nervously grinding the flour. He smiled to convey that he wasn't angry, just confused.

"Married?"

She looked away, embarrassment burning from her flaming cheeks. Haltingly she tried to let him off the hook.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell them."

"Tell them what?"

"That you didn't want me."

Daniel could see that she was fighting to hold back the tears. As an anthropologist, he knew enough about ancient cultures and tribal rituals to realise that rejecting the Chief's gift of his daughter was a not only an insult to the chief, but cast shame on the daughter too. Sha're had been a good friend to him and to the team since they had arrived here. He wouldn't hurt her.

Although he was drawn to her beauty and her strength, he had never found women all that appealing. There had been the occasional one in his short list of former lovers, but on the whole, Daniel found men far more attractive. He would have liked a lot more time to get to know her before deciding whether he wanted to take the relationship further, but the despair in her eyes tugged at his heart strings.

He reached forward and drew her to him. As his lips met hers, he knew without a doubt that Sha're had never been kissed before. The boys watching their exchange from outside began leering and Skaara let the curtain drop to give them some privacy but Daniel had already decided to take things slowly. If he managed to get the team home, he would be going back too and somehow he couldn't imagine bringing this innocent girl with him. And then there was Jack. He wasn't sure what was happening between them, all he knew was that he didn't feel free to make life changing decisions right now. He pulled back and traced the back of a finger down her cheek.

"We have plenty of time Sha're. Plenty of time."

Daniel whirled at the desperate tone in his wife's voice and watched in horror as the Jaffa guard shot her at almost point blank range. Without thinking, he swung the staff weapon in his hand and fired it at the guard, killing him instantly. There was a brief moment of sickening nausea when he realised that he had just killed a man, but the sight of Sha're lying so still on the cold stone floor, banished all further rational thoughts.

Jack watched sadly as the younger man searched for a pulse. Jack knew without coming any closer that he would find none. He had watched the relationship between the girl and Daniel developing as the days went past and had almost begun to remember what it felt like to fall in love. He watched Daniel's eyes when he looked at her, when he talked to her and felt another piece of the ice around his heart begin to melt. And now she was dead. Another fatality Jack could add to the growing list.

Daniel gathered the limp body of his wife into his arms and fought back tears. Was there no end to this thing? Suddenly the ring transport device activated and Daniel had an idea. He lifted Sha're and stepped under the light beam. His eyes met glittering chocolate brown ones. Jack was frowning.

"What are you doing? Jackson?"

What he was doing was taking leave of his senses and walking into a danger so great that the chances of surviving were slim to say the least. He wondered if he would ever see Jack again. The pain that lanced through his heart at that thought made his voice shake.

"Wait for me."

Then he was gone, and in his place, was the sun god's personal body guard, and O'Neill had no time to analyse Jackson's parting words.

"How much time do we have left?"

"45 seconds."

Daniel peered at the bomb and watched Jack's controlled but frantic ministrations.

"He's leaving, turn it off."

Jack didn't even drag his eyes away long enough to throw Daniel a reproachful glance. He was too intent on the task before him, his mind racing though options and discarding them with the speed of a runaway train.

"I'm trying to. I can't disarm it!"

Daniel gasped. "What?" All this had been for nothing? All the killing and the danger and they couldn't help these people after all. Much though he hated that Jack was right, he agreed that Ra had to be stopped but he couldn't sanction the deaths of all these people as a fair price to pay for that. He would rather let the bastard go than watch them all die. Jack slapped the bomb in frustration and finally looked at Daniel with eyes that mirrored Daniel's own despair.

"I can't stop it. They got it rigged."

A sudden bump and the flurry of sand grains dislodging from the roof to shower down on them, alerted them to the fact that the huge pyramid ship was leaving. Both men squinted upwards then at each other. As one, their heads snapped around to watch Sha're stagger away from the headless guard still lying on the ring platform. They stared at each other and said in one voice,

"I've got an idea!"

Jack watched fondly as Kowalski and Ferretti danced around the campfire. The people of Abydos were celebrating their liberation. Jack had pulled back, to the edges of the group. He watched but took no part. He saw Skaara and the other boys get up and dance too and remembered how he had felt when earlier, as they all stood outside the pyramid after Ra's ship had blown up, the youngster had given O'Neill a perfect military salute. Jack had realised something at that moment.

He had tried to treat Skaara as if he were Charlie. The thought of this young boy handling a weapon, learning how to kill, losing his innocence had sickened the Air Force Colonel, but now he could see that he had been wrong to think like that. Skaara was a young warrior who wanted to protect his people and he looked to Jack for support and encouragement. He also worshiped the ground O'Neill walked on. Jack had felt incredibly proud of the young man at that moment and the smile he had given him was genuine.

But now, as he stood on the perimeter watching the festivities, his mood began to darken and he turned towards the desert. He tugged the cloak he wore tightly around his shoulder and headed off into the dunes, seeking some solitude. He dropped to the sand, still able to faintly hear the sounds of music and laughter and stared up at the twinkling stars.

He was thinking about Daniel Jackson. The younger man had gotten under his skin. Made it through the barriers Jack had put up, the walls he had build around his heart. Not even Sara had managed to do that. Now that he was finally getting some perspective back into him life, Jack could see how unfair he had been to his wife. She had needed him desperately after Charlie died but he had been so full of guilt and self-loathing that he had pushed her away, made her deal with it by herself. He had been a selfish bastard.

"Jack?"

He turned and saw Daniel standing over him, his soft hair flapping in the breeze, and turned to silver by the moonlight. Jack patted the sand invitingly and smiled when the archaeologist flopped down next to him. They sat in silence for a few moments, then Jack sighed.

"I want to thank you Danny. Before I met you, I was a suicidal basket case with absolutely no future."

Daniel's eyes sparkled with pleasure at the compliment then his face sobered.

"And now? What does the future hold for you now Jack?"

Jack read between the lines, saw what Daniel was really asking and found that he had no option but to he completely honest with this man. He would accept nothing but the truth so Jack gave it to him.

"I owe it to my wife to give our marriage a second chance. If she's still waiting for me when I get home."

Daniel's eyes dropped. Well it wasn't the answer he had hoped for but no less than he'd expected. Jack O'Neill was a soldier, and alpha male, and very very straight. Daniel knew he himself was nothing special. Not special enough to end a career over. He raised a hand, intending to let it touch Jack's face, but halted it half way there. Jack's eyes glittered like obsidian in the pale light. They both stopped breathing. A life time passed in the single beat of a heart. Frozen in time.

"I'm not coming back with you Jack. I want to stay here…"

Jack drew in a sharp breath and tracked Daniel's hand as it dropped back into his lap. He frowned in confusion.

"…There's nothing left on Earth for me. Here, I can have a wife, a family. I think I can be happy here Jack."

Jack nodded and looked up at the stars again. He had hoped that at least he and Daniel could become closer friends. He wanted to get the chance to explain to the other man just how much of a difference he had made to Jack's life. But how could he deny his new friend the chance of finding happiness? He smiled, and this time, he didn't fight the urge to draw the younger man into an embrace.

Daniel stiffened, unused to physical contact. But the warm hands rubbing tiny circles on his back felt so good and so right that he relaxed and returned the embrace. He drew back a fraction and looked up into the fathomless depths of velvet brown eyes and his breath caught in his throat. Jack's tongue darted out to moisten his suddenly dry lips and his eyes dropped to fix on Daniel's full and slightly parted ones. He felt himself draw closer to Daniel, his eyes fluttering closed, all conscious thought deserting him.

"Colonel O'Neill."

Jack jerked back, his eyes flying open at the sound of Kowalski's voice shouting his name from the other side of the dune. He scrambled to his feet and offered Daniel his hand without meeting the other man's dazed eyes.

"Over here Charlie."

Kowalski appeared over the top of the dune a moment later and slithered down to join the two men. He was smiling widely.

"Jack, all the gear is packed and we're ready to go. Just need Dr Jackson here to do his magic."

Daniel glanced quickly at Jack, noting the rigid stance and the lack of eye contact sadly. He sighed and made to step around Kowalski but the bigger man reached out and stopped him.

"About earlier Dr Jackson. I'm sorry I roughed you up."

"Call me Daniel."

Daniel pressed the final symbol that represented Abydos and then hit the large red button and watched in awe as the Stargate exploded outwards like a water cannon only to collapse back in on itself to ripple placidly. He stepped away from the device and watched as Jack said his farewell to Skaara. Ferretti walked up the steps and smiled at the archaeologist warmly,

"I always knew you'd get us back."

"Yeah right." Daniel teased and watched as the young soldier stepped through the event horizon throwing him a nonchalant," Later!" over his shoulder. Daniel's smile froze on his lips. There could be no later. Once the soldiers were gone, Daniel and the Abydosians would bury the Stargate forever. He was never going to see Earth again. Despite having almost everything he could ever want here, he still felt the sharp pain of its loss deep in his chest.

Kowalski wasn't one for words, he smiled and thanked Daniel for his part in the mission, and then he too stepped though the shimmering portal. When Daniel turned back, it was to see Jack standing before him.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Jack asked already knowing the answer. The two men glanced towards a sweetly smiling Sha're. When their eyes met again, there was a sadness in both their expressions but also a little hope.

"Yes I'm sure."

"You're gonna be alright?"

Daniel glanced again at Sha're.

"I'm gonna be alright. How about you?"

Jack gazed into eyes the colour of a summer sky and smiled. Daniel had shown him that life was worth living, and this mission had given him a purpose in life again. He was in no danger of swallowing his gun anytime soon. He owed the man a hell of a lot. Lying to his CO when he got back to base was the least he could do.

"Yeah - Yeah I think so."

Jack made to step away but Daniel grabbed his arm and pressed the eye of Ra amulet into his hand.

"Tell Catherine this brought me luck." He whispered, telling Jack without words how much he would be missed. Jack returned the quiet smile with a dazzling one of his own.

"I will. I'll be seeing you around Doctor Jackson."

Then he stepped though the portal and Daniel watched as the event horizon collapsed behind him, cutting off his tenuous connection to a man he would likely never see again. To his life that *might* have been. He sighed and turned back to his new friends and his gently smiling wife. Maybe one day…..